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Dec. 14th, 2020 02:58 am
vrdantwind: (If I'm right here with you)
[personal profile] vrdantwind


"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

Date: 2021-02-20 08:59 am (UTC)
nastyboy: (Ghosts are so funny.)
From: [personal profile] nastyboy
As Claude leans against him, Dimitri squeezes his hand gently. It's a silent message: I'm here for you. Grant is there too, of course, and he's helping in a rather substantial way from Dimitri's perspective... but he's not actively hugging Claude Right This Second. So Dimitri offers what he can, where he is.

"Are you feeling better, Felix?" Dimitri asks softly, wondering if there's something behind his actions.

Date: 2021-02-20 09:11 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip concerned)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
The alarm bells in Felix's mind get louder. What does he want? They're all exchanging glances like Felix isn't supposed to be here. Maybe Felicity was wrong, and they don't want to see him. That reactive part of him wants to snap and leave before they can confirm it, but he doesn't. Not yet.

"Not really, no." That's to Dimitri, before he turns to Claude. "I came to ask you a question, but it looks like this is a bad time. I'll go."

Date: 2021-02-20 09:25 am (UTC)
woofdad: (no??? do not)
From: [personal profile] woofdad
Just a glimpse of Claude's face when Felix says that is enough to get an immediate answer from Grant. "--No!"

...Right, he should say more than that. He turns back to Felix. "No, you should stay here."

Date: 2021-02-20 09:40 am (UTC)
nastyboy: (I feel bad for anyone who has ever)
From: [personal profile] nastyboy
There is nothing less than sheer relief on Dimitri's face when Grant speaks up before he or Claude can even try. Somehow, with all of them working together... This mess feels as though it's surmountable.

...so he's maybe a little concerned, and showing it, when Claude hints to be alone with Felix. He blinks down at him, brows furrowed, before he slowly loosens his grip around him.

"If you would like," he says, looking to Claude, and then up at Felix.

Date: 2021-02-20 09:50 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip wtf)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
Grant's immediate refusal startles Felix visibly. Claude's response is a bit more reassuring, but the uneasiness is back on his face again soon after. Why do he and Claude need Dimitri's permission to talk privately? What the hell is happening? He tries hard not to get defensive, not to let his hackles rise.

"Yes, I would. Especially after whatever that was just now."

Date: 2021-02-20 09:59 am (UTC)
woofdad: (no??? do not)
From: [personal profile] woofdad
Whatever that was just now. Well, that's enough in itself to get another probably-unwanted apology rising in Grant's throat.

So, instead, he nods, just once, and steps out of the room, around Felix, pressing close to the edge of the doorway to keep himself taking up as little space as possible.

Date: 2021-02-20 10:03 am (UTC)
nastyboy: (So who wants to be my new best)
From: [personal profile] nastyboy
Well. That answers that. Dimitri squeezes Claude's arm one more time before he pulls away from him. But... He doesn't leave the room immediately. Instead, he stops in the doorway right there before Felix, and reaches out to take his hand.

"He's hurting," he says quietly. "He's scared and worried about Sylvain. You are the only one who can make him better, Felix, so please - take care. Be gentle. He's feeling... on the outside again. If you love him like I know you do, please remember that."

He has nothing more to say, frankly. This is something meant for Claude and Felix to discuss. He has no place, not yet, and so he steps outside along with Grant.

Date: 2021-02-20 10:16 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip concerned)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
Felix lets Dimitri have his hand, but the more the other man talks, the more concerned Felix gets. Claude, scared? Logically, he knows that has to happen sometime, everyone's afraid of something, but...Felix has never seen Claude look afraid.

And he has no idea why he of all people would be the only one who could help. That doesn't seem right, especially if it requires taking care and being gentle. Dimitri knows how terrible Felix is at those things. But for Claude, he'll...try.

He gives Dimitri a minute nod. "All right."

Once the other two have gone, Felix closes the door behind him and looks around. The several very large Pokemon in the room seem to stare him down, and his instinct to stare right back flares up in his chest, but he pushes it down. He doesn't want to pick a fight with Claude's beloved companions.

Finally, his gaze settles on Claude. "Can I...um. Dimitri said I could help." With what, he's still not sure.
Edited Date: 2021-02-20 10:28 am (UTC)

Date: 2021-02-20 05:39 pm (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip concerned)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
Frustration kindles like slowly simmering water in Felix’s gut. He frowns. “It’s not, but only because I didn’t know there was anything to help with.” But maybe, he thinks, asking what he came to ask will help.

“I was going to ask if...” It sounds pathetic to his ears now that he’s saying it out loud, but Claude himself was the one who asked him once what was more important—his pride or someone he loved. So he presses on. “If you wanted to come and sleep in our room. With me. With...us.”

Date: 2021-02-21 12:23 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip concerned)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
Claude's shocked look doesn't help with the feeling that he's missed something important and no one's telling him what it is. Why would he be so surprised? Felix spent a bunch of nights sleeping in Claude's room when Sylvain was out of town, what's the difference?

The answer to the question sheds no light, either.

"What do you mean, you can't?" Not that he doesn't want to, but that he can't? What does that mean? That sinking feeling of dread trickles back into his chest, chilly as a mountain stream.

"I don't understand anything that's happened since Grant opened the door. Tell me what's going on."

Date: 2021-02-21 01:51 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip surprise)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
Felix blinks at him, eyes widening a little. Seeing Claude like this seems...wrong. Under other circumstances he'd be furious at whoever put that uncertain and despondent look on a face that's usually so full of confidence and hope and life. Claude's eyes without their sparkle hardly look like Claude's eyes at all.

"What? I didn't ask Dimitri because I wanted to ask you. You're--" But then he frowns. Wait a second. "Is that what this is all about? I--"

Take care, Dimitri said. Be gentle. His gaze drifts elsewhere, too.

"...I'm sorry, Claude. I just...couldn't handle talking, this morning. Or afternoon, or...whenever that was."

Date: 2021-02-21 02:36 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip concerned)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
"Oh."

Well, Claude sure did explain nothing. And Felix is used to that, but not like this.

"And you...don't want to tell me why."

It's something he's been worried about for a while now, the idea that while Claude is glad to coax genuine and hidden feelings out of Felix to make him feel better, he doesn't ever want Felix to do it in return. He can't remember a time when Claude has allowed him to reverse their roles. Probably because he knows how bad Felix would be at consoling him, and...well, he can't blame Claude for that.

Okay, so the reason Claude doesn't want to tell him is pretty obvious, in retrospect. Who would ever choose Felix as someone to turn to for comfort?

It doesn't sound like you're sorry, is what's on the tip of Felix's tongue. It sounds like you don't want to talk to me at all, which is extremely confusing given that Grant practically yelled at me to stay. Make up your mind.

He bites his tongue so those words don't come out. "I still don't understand. Dimitri told me I was the only one who could...make this better. I'm not surprised that he was wrong. But you just told me not to leave, so I didn't."

Date: 2021-02-21 03:08 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip distress)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
...what?

"That's ridiculous."

Shit. He rubs his face.

"No, I--sorry. What I mean is...why wouldn't I want to help you? You help me all the time. You help everyone. That's why I asked you instead of Dimitri. I...trust you, with this sort of thing. Just because I couldn't handle it earlier doesn't mean you're not doing me any good, Claude. That makes no sense."

He shakes his head. "I've had all day and night to wallow and isolate myself like an idiot. Jinx had to practically drag me outside before I felt like...like me, again. And right now, you seem like you're not feeling like yourself, either. You love Sylvain, too. Why wouldn't this affect you? So no, of course I don't have to be here, but I want to be."

Date: 2021-02-21 07:38 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip frown)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
"Stop telling me what I 'shouldn't have' to do and what I do or don't want." One hand clenches briefly into a fist, despite his efforts to stay calm. "You're talking like you've already decided how both of us 'should' be reacting and neither of us is living up to your expectations. That's not how it works, Claude. You feel what you feel and so do I. I don't understand why you're comparing us like this. I don't need to put anything aside to commiserate with someone else who cares about Sylvain."

Then he blinks; a flash of hurt passes over his face. "You didn't make anything worse. I was already a damn wreck. You just happened to be the one who tried to talk to me first. Do you seriously think I would try to placate you just to soothe your ego? Or that I think you of all people are stupid?"

He can almost see Dimitri's disappointed face in his mind's eye. Dammit, why can't he be nicer? He takes a slow breath and lets it out.

"Yes, I did say that. Because Jinx didn't arrive until after I'd finally gotten out of bed and spent hours trying to tire myself out. And I told her to leave too. Multiple times. She just didn't listen to me. I didn't want anyone there, and that wasn't because of anything you said. It was because I'm...whatever I am, I don't know."

Date: 2021-02-21 08:43 am (UTC)
bestswordmaster: (postskip distress)
From: [personal profile] bestswordmaster
Felix stares at him, his unease growing with each word. It's no longer because he's confused--it's because this is all too familiar. He comes closer and reaches for both of Claude's hands; he'll take them if he's allowed, and if further allowed, he'll sit down with Claude on the bed.

"First of all, you didn't miss anything that I didn't. Sylvain didn't tell me and I didn't notice, either. The only reason I knew at all was because of those stupid messenger Pokemon the other day. And then like an idiot I ran off on my own for a whole day before I could talk to Sylvain about it. He always thinks he should put up with being miserable to please other people. But then he resents himself for putting up with it." Felix looks down. "He thought I wouldn't respect him if he stopped fighting. That's what the card said. And he thought Dimitri would be disappointed in him if he stopped traveling."

"Anyway, nothing's wrong with you. What you're talking about...it sounds a lot like how I felt when I thought we'd lost Dimitri. And when Glenn and my father died. And this morning, and every time Sylvain does something reckless on the battlefield. I hate it, too, but it happens anyway."

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Claude von Riegan

January 2021

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