vrdantwind | IC Inbox

Well, I...may have overthought the creepity-creep song. By a lot! I came up with this big theory about what it meant, but when I asked her about it, it turned out I was totally off...well, anyway, all that depth of meaning I saw in her lyrics made me want to try my hand at it, too.

I'm glad we can finally agree that you overthink everything.
I want to hear the song.
when we get back from shopping, sing it for me.

I said I overthought ONE thing, jeez. Some things I give the exact right amount of thought!

That said, are you sure? I mean, I'm no Annette. It'll be a total disappointment compared to her stuff.

I don't see how you have enough hours in the day to think about everything so much.
do you ever sleep?
of course I'm sure.
I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear it.
I know it'll be far below annette standards.
sing it for me anyway.

Probably not enough, although a damn sight more than Dimitri does, I'm sure. I tend to get caught up reading things...

All right, then. You'll be the second person to hear it next to Annette herself. Feel honored!

Unfortunately, I don't think I could replicate the dance she came up with for it. It wouldn't have the same effect without it being her anyway.

Man, I miss her, talking about her now. I didn't even get to see her at Derdriu. Granted, it was all pretty hectic, and I didn't stick around for long, but...it just makes me realize I haven't actually talked to her since back at the academy.

sleeping more than dimitri does is not an accomplishment.
we'll see how honored I am after I hear it.
I miss her too.
I guess we have no idea how long we'll be here.
it might be months or years.
or forever.
you call me sunshine but she's the real sunshine.
wait why didn't you stay long after the battle?
wasn't it a victory?
in your own city?

I suppose, if we spent the rest of our lives here...then after we died here, we'd wake up back in our own time. We do still have our lives to live there, sooner or later, so I don't think we'll never go back. And even if thousands of years passed here, after we died we'd stop noticing any passage of time, so it'd be right after our deaths from our perspective.

You know...in a way, I think our being from different points in time guarantees we're all going to eventually return. After all, you have to have returned to our world at some point, so you could move on with your life and become the Felix I meet at Dimitri's side in Derdriu. Right? So in a way, that's this world's promise to us we'll return - the fact that we know your lives all continue back home from after when you came here.

You act like only one person on earth can brighten people's day.

Also, I had other matters to attend to.

I guess that
sounds right?
I don't know.
do you think anyone else will show up here?
what are you talking about
I don't brighten anything.
what matters are more important than the city you just risked your life and everyone else's to save?
that would be like
oh.
like dimitri liberating fhirdiad and then leaving immediately to save you.
except it sounds like you left alone.

No idea if it's right, but it seems to follow a consistent logic at least. Granted, not much here does, so who knows what those kind of inferences are worth...but there's no point in stressing ourselves out over potential negative outcomes, any more than there is in blindly trusting in positive hypotheses.

I don't know, but maybe. Who knows when, though. Let's all just cross our fingers that Hubert and Edelgard don't put in an appearance, shall we? Entirely aside from their murder attempts, I don't want to think of what it'd do to Dimitri mentally.

Don't you? I'm happier when I talk to you than when I don't. That's enough.

Also, that's starting to get into territory of future events I'm not really on board with sharing just yet. Not when I don't know what it could lead to. Let's just say it was sufficiently pressing business, okay? And I didn't do it irresponsibly, so you've got nothing to be mad at me for over it.

I'm not stressed.
I just don't like getting forcibly kidnapped to an unfamiliar world indefinitely.
or at all.
if edelgard comes here, dimitri won't rest until he kills her.
and it's a lot more possible here than with the entire imperial army and an impenetrable fortress between us and her.
I'll kill her myself so he doesn't have to.

[A pause, and then another message:]

you're flattering me again. stop it.
and you have no idea what I might be mad at you for.
unless you talked to me at derdriu and I wasn't mad.
this gives me a headache.

I just hope it doesn't come up at all. I think we could all use a break from Edelgard, frankly.

It's still so depressing how wrong everything went. I don't think she's necessarily a bad person, or that she doesn't want what's best for Fodlan in her own way...I just can't agree with her methods at all. Even as pragmatic and underhanded as I am...she's prepared to sacrifice so much for what I assume she thinks is the greater good that I feel like the cure's worse than the disease. I wish I knew why she's so convinced that there's no better way...or that she was less stubborn. If she was willing to listen to anybody else, maybe it wouldn't have had to come to all this.

That said...if she did show up here, and someone needed to kill her to keep Dimitri from self-destructing, it should probably be me. Dimitri might never forgive the person who robbed him of that, and he'd need his best friends in the aftermath. So it definitely shouldn't be you or Sylvain.

As for flattering you, I was just being honest. You like talking to me, don't you? I assume you wouldn't bother if you didn't. So why's it so strange that it's mutual?

You were there at Derdriu, but to be honest, we didn't exactly talk. It was mostly a little reunion with me, Dimitri, and Teach; I really didn't get to chat with anyone else. But it's not like we would've had a whole lot to talk about anyway, since we were practically strangers back home.

I never really knew edelgard.
she says she wants to destroy the church and the nobility.
I don't think that's necessarily wrong.
but she was there at remire and did nothing to stop it.
she commands the death knight.
as far as I'm concerned she's unforgivable.
your logic makes sense but the way he is now he'd probably kill you.
but dwelling on it is pointless.
talking to you isn't so bad.
I guess.

[A pause, and then another message:]

I don't know what to give dimitri for this holiday.
and sylvain is no help.

Edited 2020-12-17 01:30 (UTC)

I never said I'd forgive her. She's got a lot to answer for, and the fact that I feel like the things she's done are unconscionable means that I want her to have to answer for those things. But it's sad to think of an old friend having to die, when I really believe that in her own way she means as well as any of us. But...yeah, I knew her better than you, so that might be why it's more upsetting.

I just wish there was a way to resolve things without more bloodshed. There's been enough.

Happy to change the subject, though, to be honest. For Dimitri...well, what kind of gift do you want to get him? Personal, practical, multiple gifts?

I agree.
too many people fight for the wrong reasons.
for dimitri I don't know.
usually I give him weapons or training gear.
he likes practical things.
and I don't like giving useless things.
but I want to make it personal too.
for him the last time he saw me things were
he thought I hated him.
I thought I hated him too.
so I don't want him to think that now.

Well, if you want practical, you can't go wrong with things for fussing over his pokémon. They mean a lot to him, and honestly they're the only way of fighting around here, too, so that's almost the same as training gear.

For personal...I'd give him something related to a shield. You've actually called yourself his shield to me, so...an acknowledgment of that, of your being that for him and being willing to be that for him, would mean a lot. You could go with something that has a shield on it, like an article of clothing or an accessory, or something that just straight up is a shield like a necklace or pin or the like. But it should be something he could wear or carry that'd make him think of you whenever he sees the shield.

I thought about that.
I don't want him to think I'm doing it because of any tradition.
or because he's my king.
or some lofty sense of loyalty.
those are worse than meaningless reasons.
I'm doing it because
I want to.
and for no other reason.

So...tell him that when you present the gift? I mean, if you're willing to tell people like me that you're his shield, the fact that you consider yourself his shield is something that he's going to pick up on sooner or later anyway. The only way for him to not be uncertain what your reasons are for that is if he knows what your reasons are, because you told him.

So give him something shield-related, and tell him it's not about the Shield of Faerghus, or tradition, or his being king. It's just about you wanting to protect someone who means a lot to you. Tell him you'd be his shield even if he wasn't a king.

you make everything sound easier than it is.
it's
a complicated subject.
I'm not good with those.
besides he might cry.
I don't know what to do when he blubbers like that.

Of course it's complicated. That's why you need to explain it, isn't it? But the way I see it, you either need to be willing to let him misinterpret what your being his shield means, or you need to accept having to explain it. Those are really your only two options, no matter what gift you give him.

I still think a shield from you would be the best meaningful-type gift, though, so I think I'll just leave you with that one idea. If you don't like it, you'll have to supply your own from here.

Also, if he cries, you have my permission to blame it all on me and tell him to go sob in my direction. Or you could just awkwardly pat his shoulder like a big boy who doesn't flinch when something gets awkward or challenging...but I mean, I can totally handle it for you, if you can't.

I already told you I had the thought first.
why wouldn't I like it?
you're infuriating.
you make light of everything.
and it's all nothing but insults that you're trying to hide with jokes.
I don't know why I'm asking you to begin with.
I'll handle dimitri myself.

Well, I sort of assumed you didn't like the idea you came up with, since you wouldn't have needed to ask me for more ideas if you already knew what to get him.

But if you're all set, let me know how it goes!

[It takes a while for Felix to respond this time, but eventually:]

that's not what I said.
I had misgivings.
now I don't.
I'm having a cloak brooch made.
shaped like aegis.

You know, that's actually a great idea! I hadn't thought of something to hold his cloak, but he definitely would use something like that, wouldn't he?Sentimental and practical. Good thinking!

[The next message comes after even more time has passed.]

sylvain kissed me.

[That's...that's it. That's the whole message.]

Edited 2020-12-17 09:51 (UTC)

See? Did I know what I was talking about or what?

Congratulations. I hope the wait was well worth it.

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