IC Inbox

[vrdantwind]

"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

Comments

[vrdantwind]

Maybe he doesn't know how to do things with people he actually cares about? It's not like you've ever seen him do that, after all, so that'd make perfect sense.

Also, you didn't do anything with him either, and I don't think that'd work as proof of your disinterest.

Quick question: is your pride or being with Sylvain more important to you?

[Claude doesn't even comment on Felix's not caring what Claude thinks of him. He knew that already.]

[bestswordmaster]

when we were younger he used to flirt with Ingrid all the time.
though if he ever kissed her she'd break his arm.
so I guess you have a point.
and I didn't but I'm not sylvain.
I don't
he's the one who
whatever.
last night I was right there and he looked like he'd rather throw up than
ugh.
that's a stupid question.
but I get what you're doing.
but you don't understand.
he's been my best friend since we were little.
if I ruin it with
these other feelings
I don't ever want the fake sylvain to talk to me.

[vrdantwind]

PLEASE tell me it's occurred to you that he might be scared of the exact same thing you are, Felix? Of ruining things with his best friend?

He had the chance to kiss you, but at the risk of you thinking it was just a joke that meant nothing when it'd probably mean the world to him. Or making you angry and disgusted with him. Or any number of other nightmare scenarios I'm sure were running through his head while he tried to figure out what his best move was. Realizing he'd trapped himself in a really bad situation where things could go wrong no matter what he did - and then they did, for the record - doesn't mean that kissing you was the thing making him sick.

He wasn't risking anything he minded losing when he kissed anyone else. But you and Dimitri tripped him up because you two are a lot more important to him than some silly joke or a casual kiss.

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix's next response takes a little longer to arrive.]

no not really.
which
when you say it like that
ugh. don't make fun of me.
I told you I'm not good at this.
I always thought all this romance nonsense was a distraction.
guess I was right actually.
but sylvain is
different.
I don't know.

[vrdantwind]

I mean, it can be the distraction or it can be the point, depending on what it is you want. If you want Sylvain enough that you're okay with being distracted from other things you've always considered more important, well...that's pretty sweet.

And for what it's worth, hey! He's obviously not good at it either. His escapades with people he doesn't really care about...they don't mean anything when it comes to you. He's just as much of a beginner in seriously caring about someone as you are. That's both pretty flattering to you, and something you can be relieved about. You won't be behind; you can both stumble through learning together.

[With exceptional and uncharacteristic mercy, Claude doesn't tease Felix at all.]

[bestswordmaster]

I'm not sweet. shut up.
I guess that makes sense.

[A pause between messages, and then he sends:]

why does dimitri keep giving me things?

[vrdantwind]

Because he cares about you, and I'm sure in his current state he doesn't think anything that's part of him has any real value. His words, his companionship, whatever. So he thinks "oh, if I can't be a good thing for Felix, I can give Felix good things". It makes perfect sense if you hate yourself.

That said, though, obviously even people who aren't a total mess like giving presents to the people they care about, so it probably genuinely makes him happy, too. I'd let him keep doing it. But maybe let him know you like being with him, too. That it's not just the material stuff that's important or worthwhile. Not that it'd be easy for you to do, I know, but I'd bet a not insignificant amount of money it'd do him good to hear something like that from one of his best friends. I'd do it, but he doesn't care what I think any more than you do.

[bestswordmaster]

hey. don't talk about dimitri like that.
he's not a mess.
never mind I shouldn't have asked.

[vrdantwind]

Oh? Weren't you calling him a mess even back when he was at least pretending convincingly to have things together?

Although if you're saying I specifically don't have the right to talk about him like that...I suppose that's fair. I just - well, to put it frankly, I never thought I'd be told that I needed to be more respectful of someone and watch the way I speak about people by you. And I'd have predicted it being over Dimitri specifically even less.

What weird and wonderful times we're in, huh?

[bestswordmaster]

shut up.
that was different.
he was lying to himself then.
and I was
angrier.
and more confused.
it's not just you I'd challenge anyone who disrespected him.

[Felix glares at the message before he sends it. Claude's right about one thing; if his younger self saw this, he'd be furious. But...things are different now. He adds another line to the message before sending it:]

I'm his shield.

[vrdantwind]

And you say you aren't sweet.

Although...that reminds me of something a lot more serious. Dimitri was asking me about Rodrigue the other day...about how you told him what happened to him.

First of all...I wanted to offer my condolences. I know you and Rodrigue had a lot of tension between you, to put it mildly, but from everything I've ever heard of him, he was a great man. And I'm sure his death had an impact on you, no matter what your feelings were about him, so...I just wanted to say I was sorry to hear it. And that I hope you're doing as well as could be expected after something like that.

I never got much of an opportunity to speak with you at Derdriu, actually, so this is the first chance I've had to talk to you about it at all.

[bestswordmaster]

[This message comes quicker than any of the others have.]

I'm not talking about this.
thanks for the advice.
I'm going to sleep.

[vrdantwind]

Okay, okay, I get it! We don't have to talk about it. But there is something adjacent to it I want to talk about - either now, or later.

How much do you think is...well, wise to tell Sylvain and Dimitri about things that'll happen in their respective futures? Which kind of seems to be the way this stuff is working out. Because I've been trying to avoid dropping any revealing details like that.

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix is literally in the process of closing the Gear when Claude goes on. He flops down on his back onto the bed and lifts the Gear to operate it from below, glaring slightly at the buttons.]

have I ever told you you talk too much?
you must really love the sound of your own voice.
though I can see why if it distracts you from this infuriating music.
what is that about???
I don't know.
I was wondering the same thing.
when I told Dimitri it just
happened.
I think
this is part of why things are so weird with sylvain?
he's from much earlier in the war.
will it change things back home?
to tell them?

[vrdantwind]

We're literally not even actually talking but okay?

And I don't know. But that's one of my major concerns. I mean, among other things...my life is kind of riding on Dimitri's recovering and showing up with you guys at Derdriu. So if that changes, or doesn't happen...

[bestswordmaster]

you know what I meant!
oh.
I can see how that would be a concern.
in this case it's the opposite though.
it
that thing I told him about
was the beginning of his crawling out of the hole.
if anything he'll be much better off much earlier.
and maybe he won't insist on fighting you at Gronder
for literally no reason.
and that battle at Derdriu won't even happen.
I don't know.
but he needed the news.
and hiding from it accomplishes nothing.

[vrdantwind]

Is that what helped turn him around? I never actually knew what helped him out of that pit. I just saw him at Gronder and he was...well, worse than he is now, but the way Dimitri is right now is still closer to what I saw aat Gronder than anything else. And then we met again at Derdriu, and he was a king.

[He means that in every favorable way the word can possibly be interpreted.]

Well...if that is actually something you think will help in the long run, then I guess I'll just cross my fingers and hope that's the case. He's obviously pretty upset about it, and I really didn't think he needed to hate himself more, but if that somehow leads to him moving past all this I won't question results.

Whatever happens, though, as soon as you guys reclaimed Fhirdiad, the battle at Derdriu became inevitable. Why do you think I sent my messenger so early - early enough for you guys to get the message and arrive to help? It's because I knew if you took back Fhirdiad, then the Kingdom's position would be significantly stronger - threatening, even. And as soon as that happened, I knew exactly what Edelgard would do.

She's shrewd, and she's got an excellent command of war strategy. I knew that she knows the Empire can take on the Kingdom or the Alliance fairly easily, but both together is way too risky. And the Alliance might've been neutral for five years, but with the Kingdom shifting back into being a major power again? And our already having engaged her army once on the Kingdom's behalf? Even if she wasn't sure the Alliance would ally with the Kingdom, it'd be crazy for her to leave the risk open. And while the Kingdom was preoccupied with Fhirdiad was the perfect time for her to try to eliminate her other major competition. Anyone with a decent grip of politics and war would've done the same.

I guess, in a way, it wasn't even Fhirdiad itself that tipped the scales. It was Dimitri coming back to himself. Without that he couldn't have taken Fhirdiad, I think. Fhirdiad just proved he was as much of a threat at the head of the Kingdom as Edelgard might've already feared from him. So a Dimitri that recovers at all guarantees the battle at Derdriu, because he signals the turning of the tide against the Empire.

[bestswordmaster]

hm.
I see why they call you the master tactician.
I loathe politics.
but even I could tell the way you handled the Alliance for those first five years was masterful.
you know how to do a lot with a little.
it's impressive.
but. with dimitri it was complicated.
that was the beginning but
the professor talked to him.
and then I did, and Gilbert.
and others.
to get to where he was at fhirdiad.
so it's good that we're all here.
but if I have to have that whole conversation with him again
I'm going to toss him into the river.
there are
some things I never apologized for though.

[vrdantwind]

He's threatened to throw me in the ocean, and I'm not sure what you leveling a similar threat at him says about me.

I'm flattered you approve of the way I handled things! I mean, normally I wouldn't brag - okay, I would, but only about silly things - but frankly I deserve way more appreciation than I get for having to spend five years herding self-serving, cowardly nobles like cats. And one of them is Count Gloucester. I'm owed a medal, frankly? Or at least a lifetime of tea for treating headaches.

What did you have to apologize to him for, though? Are they things this Dimitri will remember?

[bestswordmaster]

you probably deserved it.
I'd throw you in the ocean, too.
sounds like your nobility isn't too far off from ours.
except instead of cowardly they're CHIVALROUS.
which is worse frankly.
also cats aren't actually that hard to gather.
that saying was invented by someone who didn't know what they were doing.
he will remember them.

[A pause, and then another message comes:]
this is stupid.
you're two doors down.
why are we still sending message on here?
it's a pain.

[vrdantwind]

I mean, you say that, but you didn't have to talk Margrave Gautier down from wanting to throw his support behind Edelgard because he was hoping she'd reward him with some more land, so...trust me, you got the better end of the deal.

Not that I have too high of an opinion of Margrave Gautier after that mess with Miklan and what I heard about it back during our academy days. But at least armies don't make him flinch, and the merest suggestion of potential profit doesn't make him blind. It's not much to say of a noble, but it's a lot more than I can say for quite a few of ours in the Alliance.

Also, I assumed you couldn't stand looking me in the face while being honest? But if you want to come to my room, the door's open.

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix frowns at the screen, then pockets his Gear and runs a brush through his hair briefly without bothering to put it up before marching down the hall to Claude's room and entering without preamble, wearing what passes for sleepwear--the slim blue pants from the outfit that was packed in his bag, and the sleeveless black undershirt that goes under its jacket. He shuts the door behind him.]

Margrave Gautier is the lowliest scum in the whole Kingdom. He's a perfect example of everything wrong with the Faerghan nobility. I despise him.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude sits up in bed when Felix storms in, and - oh.

The thing is, Claude's never seen Felix with his hair down. He's also never seen Felix in what amounts to sleepwear. He was not necessarily prepared to suddenly experience these two things, both at once, without warning.

It's a good thing he has such excellent self-control of both himself and his expressions. His eyes rake over Felix once - it's all he'll allow himself - before he affects his usual, easy smile, and an attitude as though he and Felix were talking on any other day.

Luckily or unluckily for Felix, Claude had actually thrown on the comfortable hoodie that came with his supplies when Felix had suggested he'd come over, or Felix would've stormed in on Claude shirtless.]

The lowliest? Even lower than the Faerghus nobles who did side with Edelgard and Cornelia? [He cocks an eyebrow.] He must treat Sylvain pretty terribly, then.

[It's not a hard conclusion to draw. What else would get Felix so worked up about Sylvain's father? And, of course, the Gautiers' treatment of their other son - and what that resulted in - had been the talk of the academy for a month or two.]

[bestswordmaster]

...okay, not that bad. But close.

[Felix folds his arms and leans against whatever convenient piece of furniture is near where Claude sits, eyes hard.]

Yes, he treats Sylvain terribly. You heard what happened with his brother; that was their father's fault, too. A lot of nobles are obsessed with Crests and arranging 'good' marriages for their kids to get more Crested blood into the family, but the Gautiers take it to a horrific extreme. Sylvain has a Crest, obviously. Miklan didn't.

...my father had plenty of his own problems, but at least he never treated me like a commodity because of my Major Crest.

[vrdantwind]

Yeah, that's pretty admirable. Especially since in this day and age, major Crests are pretty hard to come by. I think out of everyone in the academy, only Flayn, Lysithea, and Catherine had major Crests besides you...well, and Balthus and the others from Abyss. But they seemed like...special cases, in general.

The point is, it wouldn't have been that unreasonable for him to make a fuss over it...but I can't look at you and believe you got any special treatment from him over that.

Since I grew up outside Fodlan, and Fodlan's the only place I know of where Crests are such a big deal...I can't say I ever had to deal with much nonsense about Crests growing up. But even so...I can sympathize with Sylvain about things we have no control over, affecting our lives and how people treat us. I won't pretend I know his situation exactly, but...I won't pretend I don't know anything about how it feels, either.