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[vrdantwind]

"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

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[vrdantwind]

I recognize you don't know me that well yet, but I want you to mention you asked me whether or not I'd like to know a secret to Dimitri and Sylvain and Felix sometime, and gauge by how hard and how long they laugh how hilarious it is that you asked me that.

In short, I'm definitely fine with you telling me! And I can sympathize with keeping secrets. I've got a few of my own...though I don't think they'd mean much of anything to anyone not from our world, really.

[woofdad]

Listen, I've gathered that you like KNOWING things, I just felt I should double-check!

Yeah, so, speaking of that, because I can't think of a more tactful way to put this: Does your world really not have lycanthropy?

[vrdantwind]

I can't say I even know what that is, so it's a safe bet that we don't. But you sound like you already knew that, huh? Why ask again?

[woofdad]

Well, Dimitri didn't know, so I figured either he just hadn't heard of it somehow, or it wasn't a thing. Figured it was worth double-checking.

Lycanthropy is, in short, a highly contagious curse - or a magic disease, by now, depending on who you ask. It was most likely first developed to turn one's enemies into wolves, maybe as some kind of a war tactic, but it's been modified so far since then that it barely resembles whatever the original form of the curse might have been, in symptoms OR magical structure. It kind of seems like, rather than try to find a way to break the curse and free the afflicted, someone at some point thought to add new conditions to it instead, maybe trying to turn things in their favor? At that point we can't say much with certainty, since there are no surviving records of the development of lycanthropy as a curse. What we do know is that its current form is incredibly magically complex, to the point where it's begun to self-modify - which is where we get back to how some parts of the magic community disagree that it even qualifies as a curse anymore, or if it's crossed entirely into the realm of a magic-based disease. I'll still call it a curse, though, since it's basically structured as one.

Anyway, as I said, its effects have been heavily modified over time. At this point, those carrying the curse - whether because they were infected during their lives or inherited it through genetics - only take on a non-human form for roughly one night each month, on the full moon. That form, while usually superficially canine, is more of a blend of various mammalian traits that differ from one person to another than it is simply "a wolf", and werewolves - especially those who inherited it genetically, or were infected in utero - usually maintain some vaguely canine traits all through the month. It can also have some mental effects; it's not uncommon for werewolves to struggle with mood swings or impulse control issues, which can unfortunately feed into the idea that lycanthropy makes people violent or aggressive.

It's not a very common affliction, but most people where I'm from have at least heard of it, and usually have some kind of preconceptions about it.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume you can guess by now why I'm telling you all this.

[vrdantwind]

That's fair. But as an informational omnivore, I can promise you I almost definitely would have heard of something like that if we had it.

Also, yeah, you don't have to spell it out for me. Chip can be a little feral at times!

...listen, I couldn't resist. But seriously, I do get it. And it does explain the teeth.

You're about the furthest thing I can think of from violent or aggressive...but if that's a 'preconception' people tend to have about werewolves, am I wrong in thinking that might be intentional?

See, I've seen quite a few places that have lots of 'preconceptions' about people who are different, so I know that code. I also know a bit about trying not to fall into the stereotypes of what people believe about your kind.

Quick question, though - isn't the line between 'magic-based disease' and 'curse' a pretty fine one already? Is there a whole lot of reason to draw the distinction? I mean, I could see changing the wording to help with public perception - curse is definitely a more loaded word - but it sound like people are trying to split more scientific hairs than that about it, and I'm just wondering why.

[woofdad]

[Oh dang should he have been more specific--

...Wait. That's a joke, apparently. But he'd still rather make sure the situation is clear.]

Okay, I get you're joking, but to make sure we're all clear: No, Chip is not a werewolf, it is just me. And, yes, that's why my teeth don't fit in my mouth right.

You are not at all wrong. It feels a little silly to tell someone in a position like yours about how much scrutiny I've gotten used to being put under, but, I'm sure you can imagine. Kind of changes even things like childhood scuffles when the other kid's parents' first thought is to demand to know if you might have BITTEN their kid and given them an incurable disease. So, I just try to avoid conflicts where I can.

The key point is that most curses don't self-modify. Nobody has made any intentional changes to the structure of lycanthropy in centuries as far as I know, but its effects have continued to drift; some have suggested that the fact that it's become complex enough to mutate on its own means that it's closer to a magic-based virus than to any other known curse. I'll grant that there's some merit to that line of thought, but, even if it's drifting, it's still structured like a curse.

Besides which, I could personally do without that particular shift in public perception. You're right that "curse" is a more loaded word in a lot of ways, but calling it a disease just means the people who would be avoiding us, or MAYBE trying to break that curse, will instead pretend to be sympathetic while insisting on trying to "cure" us. The only change that classification has brought about so far is a thin veneer of good intentions.

[vrdantwind]

Okay, we're clear on that! Honestly, I would have wanted to ask if you didn't specify, although I didn't necessarily suspect Chip of it. It's just, you know, they're your kid! And you did say it can be passed down.

[This would be a logical time to mention Chip's adopted, certainly. Claude, as someone of mixed race born to rather visually distinct parents, certainly isn't going to make any assumptions based on Chip's looks compared to Grant's.]

Also, I wanted to clarify about the teeth - they definitely don't bother me. In fact, I think they look good on you. But they are pretty noticeable, and sharp, in a way that definitely clicked once you mentioned some of the symptoms of lycanthropy.

I at least never had to deal with anyone treating me as though I might be catching. I'd imagine that's extra rough. I've been an object of disdain before, but an object of suspicion...well, I've been that too, but not for things I had no control over. Usually just for being a schemer, which is kind of the risk you run! But for people to be wary and distrustful over something you've got no control over...it sounds miserable. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that.

Listen, tell me off if this is accidentally offensive, but - are you saying werewolves wouldn't want to be cured if there was a cure? It doesn't sound like there's a lot of upsides to your condition, unless I'm misunderstanding it. Obviously people should treat werewolves decently, so the point of a cure shouldn't be "make the monsters normal again and THEN we'll treat them like people", but...I'd think that regardless of how society treats you, you might want to be free of the curse. Is it that you don't want a cure, or that the people most invested in finding one are going after it for all the wrong reasons?

[woofdad]

[Oh yeah there is that detail. Honestly, he definitely can't blame anyone for not concluding the truth on their own; more than anything, it just doesn't tend to occur to him to mention it until it comes up.]

Oh, right - yeah, if I did have any biological children there'd be a pretty high risk of them picking it up. But Chip is adopted, so, no lycanthropy there.

Ha, I'm glad you think so. Honestly, between you and Sylvain, it's kind of odd hearing (or reading) people complimenting my teeth without it being just an incredibly loaded comment.

The cure thing is kind of complicated, honestly; I won't deny that it's a sensitive subject, but I can see why you'd ask. I can't really blame other werewolves who do want it removed from their systems, and a lot about it is pretty unpleasant. Being here and having my symptoms reduced so much has sort of put some things in perspective, actually - I mean, the one weekend where reality got all weird, my symptoms came back, and let me tell you: I did not enjoy having my sense of hearing back in full. Turns out everything is incredibly loud, all the time, and I'd just gotten used to it over the last 32 years. And that's without even going into full moons. But, on the other hand: Even if I don't enjoy stuff like my hearing being stronger than the average person's, having all that just be gone is VERY strange. It's been a part of my entire life, you know? This place has sort of blocked off a piece of myself, and even if it's one that's caused me a lot of problems, I can still tell it's missing.

And to be clear, from a practical standpoint, there are upsides too; we're usually stronger than the average human, so some werewolves can use that and their stronger senses for work, depending on their jobs. Like, my cousin has lycanthropy too and she's a bouncer, so it's really useful for her to be able to just kind of pick up a guy twice her weight if she has to. Personally, the most use I get out of that is usually moving boxes around.

That said, I absolutely think that finding ways to reduce the severity of the symptoms or weaken the curse on an individual basis should be something to aim for; after all, monthly transformations and the like can be outright dangerous for some, and they deserve to have the medical support to counter that.

However, for one thing, I have no doubt that the second a cure was made available, every werewolf on the planet would suddenly be under immense pressure to take it, regardless of their individual circumstances - because, for another, no, I don't trust most of the people invested in curing lycanthropy as far as THEY could throw ME. It's been made clear time and time again that for every hundred people making noise about "saving" us from this curse, ninety just don't want us to exist but think this is the respectable way to go about erasing us. Most of these same people suddenly can't comprehend shit if we try to talk to them about establishing symptom-based support for those who need it, about ensuring we have housing that will keep us safe on full moons, because they don't WANT us to be comfortable as we are, they want us scared and desperate so that we'll put up with whatever they do to us in the name of "helping" us.

[vrdantwind]

Huh, really? Just goes to show what a great family you two are, then, that I couldn't even tell. And I'm a pretty observant guy.

But yeah, no ulterior motives here. It just looks kind of cool - something that's unique about you, you know?

I've heard those weird weekends are when people get their forms and powers from home back, if they lost any on coming here. I've also heard they're a semi-regular occurrence, so maybe it's a good thing you're sharing this werewolf news with people now. It might be relevant in the future - or at least people noticing it might be unavoidable. So better for you to explain it by choice when you've got the chance than having it forced out of you because one of the weird weekends happened unexpectedly.

But yeah, I think I understand what you mean. Even if something's not ideal, when it's affected you as a person and your entire life so deeply, it's weird to think about just excising it. And even if you got rid of it, it's not like the effects it's had on you living with it for so long would go away, either. And if not all of it's bad...then I can get why managing the bad symptoms without necessarily wanting to get rid of the curse wholesale would make a lot more sense.

But yeah - even knowing nothing about your world, I could guess people like that existed. I hadn't even considered the pressure on werewolves to cure themselves whether they want to or not if a cure got made, though. It just goes to show, an outsider's perspective on something like this is always going to miss vital details unless someone who's lived it fills them in.

Then again, I've also found that even an insider's perspective can be lacking, if they don't look around enough. If you don't talk to people who've lived the same things you have, but in a totally different way, you can be blind to things right under your nose. You sound like you know a lot about this, though, and that you're considering a lot more points of view than just your own. That's pretty admirable, you know.

[woofdad]

Yeah, I'm... admittedly not looking forward to another of those coming around. I don't know how many people I'm going to be comfortable telling by then - we're up to three now, not including myself or Chip.

Actually, two, if we don't count the guy who called me on it when I was first trying to figure out what to do on the full moon, before finding out that nothing would happen. So it's just you and Dimitri that I've actually said it to.

Oh, thanks - I guess I hadn't really thought of it that way? I just got really interested in the way lycanthropy actually works as a teenager, and that led into a lot of research on the community as well. Admittedly, I was so twitchy about the idea of trying to cure it at the time, I remember getting sort of upset when other werewolves were just talking about looking for ways to treat the individual symptoms - fortunately I don't remember ever starting a fight over it, though. I just sort of fumed in silence until it sunk in that not everyone had the same experiences as me.

[vrdantwind]

Well, I know Felix is prickly, and I don't know how well you know Sylvain, so I can get being more nervous to talk to them about it...but since you know that people from our world don't even know what lycanthropy is, much less have any prejudices about it, are you really risking anything by telling them? You certainly won't get negative reactions from them. And I know it might be nerve-wracking entrusting people you don't know too well with a secret, but regardless of how they feel about you - Dimitri is their best friend, and king. If he wants them to keep your secrets on your behalf - which he absolutely would - your secrets are as good as taken to the grave with them.

Granted, I know that keeping secrets for your own protection isn't all just logic and risk calculation. Some part of it is always going to be paranoia. So I don't know how much me telling you facts is going to make you comfortable with the idea, necessarily.

So you've done a 180 on your feelings about your condition, huh? It's interesting how that happens sometimes. You start out believing one thing, and then your perspective shifts and you end up on the exact opposite side of a debate from where you were.

...huh. This is an incredibly stupid and minor thing that my brain's been fixating on, but I'd been thinking about how it must suck not being able to bite anyone in shall we say intimate situations, and it just occurred to me that you probably can now. As long as it's not one of the weird weekends, anyway. Granted, after a lifetime of being paranoid about biting people, maybe you wouldn't even be able to bring yourself to even when you know it's safe...sorry, dumb random tangent and probably the shallowest possible consideration in regards to your condition, I know. It was just something I was thinking about in the back of my head.

[Specifically, Claude had seen it as the biggest personal drawback of Grant's condition. (Which is to say, not counting any societally based prejudices.) Turning into a dog creature one night a month? Not so bad, can definitely be worked around. Having heightened senses and physical abilities? Technically a benefit! Unusual physical features? Claude's already observed he thinks the ones Grant has work in his favor. Mood swings? Grant seems to have himself well under control. But not being able to bite people, even in situations where biting people might be encouraged...that sounds annoyingly non-negotiable. Except here, it is!

Then Claude remembers the person Grant is most likely to bite is Dimitri, and the sick feelings come rushing back. Still no concern over Grant's being a werewolf - it's all about Grant being the one Dimitri wants, when Claude had half hoped maybe Dimitri wanted him. Which is stupid and selfish, since he knows he can't have Dimitri anyway, so what would he have gained even if that were true? But fear isn't the only thing that makes the heart illogical.]

[woofdad]

Yeah, I know, and don't get me wrong, they seem like good guys. But I guess it's force of habit still making it difficult - or, well, not habit exactly, there was only so much I could do to keep it from people back home. More that, now that I have the opportunity to keep it to myself, it's a little hard to make the decision to give that up. Even if you guys' world doesn't have the same prejudices toward us as mine, it's still a little scary to tell someone I used to turn into a monster every month, you know?

But I guess we'll find out. I'm definitely going to have to tell them at some point, with us all traveling together.

More like I've been spinning in circles around it my whole life. I changed circumstances and living situations a few times growing up, and what I was being taught to think of myself (my condition, technically, but let's be real) changed with it. Took me a while to work it out as an adult after all that.

[Hahaha oh god.]

Claude, that is a fair thought and I don't mind that you brought it up, but I am absolutely not going to bite anyone sexually. You're right that it's partly an issue of habit, but, one: I'm actually not sure I'm willing to assume it's safe here? I mean, I don't show any symptoms most of the time, but given that they come back on those weekends, I'm not sure the curse isn't still in my system. For all I know, it might still be transmittable, just with the effects suppressed most of the time.

Two, Believe it or not, I already know I don't want to when it's safe; there are these curse blocking treatments people can get back home - usually they're a self-defense thing, though most people don't bother with them if they don't think they're at high risk of getting cursed, like if they've been threatened. Anyway, they are known to protect against lycanthropy infection, and I've actually had more than boyfriend start them (fine, understandable, a good precaution), and then start asking me to bite them, and each time has felt like the new worst conversation of my life. Which, the unpleasantness probably had to do with those guys kind of being weird assholes in general, but the point remains that I'd rather not bite anyone in any context.

[Of course, Grant's brain follows a similar path to the topic of Dimitri, though in a... very different way. God, he hopes Dimitri doesn't want him to bite him. It doesn't seem like he would, but it's hard to be sure? What if he does? That might get weird.

Then again, that's all assuming they even get to the point of intimacy to begin with, and neither of them concludes they've made a huge mistake before then. Hell, he hasn't even told Dimitri he wants to try it yet, what if he's changed his mind in the interim - which also seems unlikely, but what if?

Fuck, now he's nervous all over again.]

[vrdantwind]

Hm. Is it offensive if I object to you calling yourself a monster? Only I know of times in our world where people have genuinely turned into monsters, and I think that should mean more than just temporarily changing shape into something that's mostly dog-like. But that could be different standards from different places...and maybe you don't like having your curse downplayed?

But I guess you've got a point. Suppressed symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you're not still a carrier, huh? Not that it matters, really; if you wouldn't be comfortable doing it regardless, then it doesn't matter if you can pass it or not because there's no reason to even test it. Sorry for the weird questions and uncomfortable subjects, but when I get new information I just naturally start turning it over in my head every which way. I hope I'm not making it an unpleasant conversation, because I appreciate you trusting me so much.

That said, a guy like you doesn't deserve to have had a string of weird asshole boyfriends. Hell, you don't deserve to have even had one. But if there's anyone who can break that streak for you, it'd be Dimitri. He'll treat you...well, I was going to say like a prince, but he's been a prince and he never liked being treated as one much. So he'll treat you better than a prince. I think I've mentioned it before, but at his best, you can't ask for a better guy than Dimitri is. And you've done a lot helping him get back to that.

[woofdad]

Oh, sorry-- I guess I was thinking in terms of that being how people tend to respond? Or did back home, anyway. I suppose it is partly a matter of standards, since... generally, what I turn into on full moons would be considered a monster back home, since it's... not exactly a straightforward, uh, dog. That said though, I apologize if that does dilute the meaning as it applies to what you've encountered, that wasn't my intention at all.

No, it's alright - this is honestly a lot more comfortable than a lot of conversations I've had about this.]

[It actually takes him a moment to figure out how to go about responding to that, because... Claude is absolutely right, from everything Grant has seen, and that's a lot to process.]

Oh, yeah, believe me - how Dimitri might treat me is the last of my worries. I mean, I guess I'm a little worried about if things might get awkward about some topics, but not in any way that would really be his fault, you know?

It's almost funny, actually - there was plenty of fiction back where I'm from set in time periods that I guess sound kind of like where and when you guys are from; a lot of it had romantic elements, whether that was the focus or not, and I was kind of fascinated by that for a while? The whole thing about being courted by a handsome knight or prince or something. 'Course, I couldn't read or watch most of it without just getting punched in the face at some point by how it wasn't really FOR me. That stuff was usually made for women to project onto, not gay guys, and if a werewolf showed up at all, he was usually either some kind of wild, sexually aggressive romantic rival, or a straight-out villain. I knew that stuff wasn't meant to be realistic to begin with, but it kind of ended up feeling like even more unrealistic of a fantasy for me than the people it was actually made for.

...Sorry, there's probably a limit to how much of my baggage I should be dumping on you at once - I can stop now, but I guess I've just been thinking about that a lot and I couldn't exactly say it to anyone, since the only people around who knew about the werewolf thing until now were Chip and Dimitri himself.

[vrdantwind]

I'm not worried about diluting the meaning. I'm just worried about someone like you getting lumped in with some pretty hideous, mindless creatures just because of some curse. You're not a monster when you're not transformed, and I don't think you should be called one when you are, either. I bet calling yourself one isn't great for your self-esteem, either.

Huh. So you're kind of getting to live a story that you never really got to feel was meant for someone like you, huh? That's honestly great, Grant. If anybody deserves some kind of fairy tale romance, I'd say it's you and Dimitri both. So...I really hope it works out for you guys.

Also, I'm glad you're talking to me about this. That you'd trust me enough to come to me with all this stuff means a lot, and it's not like I owe you any less after you listened to me vent about Sylvain and Felix.

[Claude's heart is still aching, but...in an odd sort of way, listening to Grant talk about this is comforting. If he's losing something he wanted, then...it at least feels like he's losing it to a really good cause. To a really good person who's been denied a lot of good things he never should have been. It's no less bitter a pill to swallow, but...it's easier to resign himself when he hears just how much this means to Grant.]

[woofdad]

[...Actually, Grant's mouth tightens slightly at Claude's response. He knows there's no reason for it to be frustrating. Claude means well, he thinks Grant is talking badly about himself and wants to stop him. Of course.

Grant doesn't know how to tell him just how long he's spent drilling those same messages into himself, how to break down the fact that he's not being self-deprecating, not describing himself but what people have heard all his life when they found out about his curse.

Maybe he got too comfortable too fast. Or maybe he just shouldn't have tried to use sarcasm over text.

Either way, it's not the time to get into it.]

Well, I do appreciate it - but, rest assured, I don't actually think of myself as a monster. Anyway, I won't say it again if it bothers you.

Thank you - and I guess I should also say, I don't want to make it sound like I'm going to be projecting some kind of made-up ideal on him, either. Reading back over it, it feels like it was a weird thing to say.

Hey, you're probably one of the most trustworthy people I know. I'm just really glad to know you here, and that you're willing to listen; after all, I wouldn't say that me choosing to listen to you venting before means you actually OWE me anything now. You're just a good guy.

[vrdantwind]

Hey, as long as I know you're not being down on yourself, you can say whatever you want. But, you know, after hearing Dimitri call himself a monster a few dozen times, and the way he uses the word...well, it starts to sound pretty loaded after awhile. I'd definitely be careful using it where he can hear you, too.

You really don't need to project some fairy tale ideal of Dimitri onto him. He's just kind of like that a lot of the time, to the point where you have to pinch yourself to make sure you're not just dreaming him up. But then he throws rats at people's faces and brings you back down to reality himself, so there's always that.

[Claude actually has to blink at the screen for a moment. Trustworthy. No, the word's still there even after he blinks.]

That's a very flattering sentiment, and probably one that would have been voted The Least Likely To Ever Be Applied To Claude von Riegan back at the academy. Me being shady and mysterious and untrustworthy were practically my trademarks. I mean, occasionally musing out loud about mildly poisoning the other houses didn't help... (I never did, for the record! It was psychological warfare!)

Either way, the point is, I never thought anyone would say something like that about me, and I kind of doubt that I deserve it. But you deserve somebody who'll listen to you. I don't know if you need that to be me when you've got Dimitri, who I'm sure hangs off your every word, but...hey, if you still see some value in having me around, I'm happy to provide it. I probably give better advice than Dimitri, in any case.

[woofdad]

Oh, yeah, I'll absolutely make sure to avoid that phrasing around Dimitri.

[Part of him wonders if he should make a joke there, ask Claude if he often has to pinch himself to make sure Dimitri is real - but he supposes that could risk sounding sort of accusatory, under the circumstances. After all, Claude's praise for Dimitri may be kind of oddly effusive, but that's no reason to make it sound like he thinks Claude is going to try anything.

...Also, in general, as he reads over the rest of what Claude said, he finds himself... a little bit worried? And not over the fact that he apparently threatened to poison his classmates at some point.]

Well, regardless of what kind of reputation you had at school - and whether it was deserved - you've only given me one reason after another to trust you here; after all, if I'd had any doubt, I wouldn't have told you I was a werewolf. And that isn't going to change just because of my relationship with Dimitri, however that goes; your "value" to me isn't dependent on what you can do for me, or on whether I think anyone else can do the same, or on my relationships to other people at all. I like you, and I like talking to you. I appreciate that you've been willing to listen, and that you've tried to help me, and I want to do the same for you if I ever can. That's really all there is to it.

And you probably do give better advice than Dimitri, anyway. Plus, I don't think he'd enjoy being talked at about the planar system for as long as you.

[vrdantwind]

Ha. Maybe I've been spending too much time around self-serving nobles who will discard people as soon as they become functionally redundant, huh? Still, though, when you're looking for emotional support, I imagine it's natural enough to reach for your significant other before you hit up your friends. But as you say...if you're looking for advice, I may still be your best bet.

And yeah, you've got a point there too. If you ever want to go way too in depth on esoteric subjects, I am definitely the guy for that. You know, Chip said I sounded like an encyclopedia the other day? And I was being restrained! We're unappreciated in our own times, Grant.

[woofdad]

Eh, maybe, broadly speaking. But it depends on the person and the issue, doesn't it? Besides which, putting too much pressure on one person to act as support seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

Oh my god. I'm so sorry but that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I'm almost impressed you managed that when they're already used to me.

[vrdantwind]

I didn't say you should only ever go to your significant other! Just that it makes sense they'd be your first port of call in a storm.

Ugh, I'm still offended! Not because it was all that offensive, mind you. Honestly, I agree that's pretty funny, and one of the mildest insults I've ever had directed at me. I'm just mad that I did so little to deserve it! A million times in my life that it would've made perfect sense to say that about me, and they just bust out with it when I wasn't even off on a tangent about anything! And you're their dad, so it's extra offensive! You'd think they'd have a higher tolerance!

I'm being unfairly maligned, Grant. Teach your kid to at least insult people accurately!

[woofdad]

That's fair. But, either way, the point does remain that I'm not gonna stop having reason to confide in you.

Okay, well, here's a question, were you not a tangent by YOUR standards, or by an eleven year old's standards? Because I feel like those may be two very different things.

Oh I am not teaching them that. Improving their combat for self defense is one thing, but that would be a disaster waiting to happen.

[vrdantwind]

I could've sworn it was reasonable enough for kids! He said all old people are bad with technology, and I just said something about being an old dog still plenty capable of learning new tricks, and that was my reward. I am completely innocent of these accusations, Grant.

[woofdad]

Okay, well, there's your problem: NEVER call yourself an old anything in front of an eleven year old. Especially not in an idiom! I can only imagine their face, I don't know if they've ever heard a person say that out loud before.

[vrdantwind]

They called me old first! [Claude's whine is practically audible over text.] I figured that if they consider someone my age old, there wasn't a whole lot of talking them out of that idea anyway...

Ugh, maybe I'm just not good with kids.