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[vrdantwind]

"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

Comments

[nastyboy]

[Dimitri is just as dazed as Claude, although he seems to be doing a much better job at keeping himself upright on his own two feet. He's slightly transfixed on the way Claude's lips are parted.]

Ah... You are a good teacher. I - apologize. This is a lot...

[vrdantwind]

What are you apologizing for? [Claude licks his lips, smiling at him.] That was incredible. I think if you weren't holding me up, I'd melt.

[nastyboy]

[If Claude is trying to break some world record with how red he's making Dimitri's face, well, he's definitely going to get that trophy.]

I am still only a novice at kissing. And - Nevermind.

[vrdantwind]

No, tell me what you were going to say. [Claude's eyes gleam with curiosity.] I have to know now that you started.

[nastyboy]

[Ugh. He really did sign himself up for this kind of embarrassment. Dimitri tilts his chin down slightly.]

I feel I might have been... leaning in the direction of going too far and too fast.

[vrdantwind]

And how is that? [There's a smile on Claude's lips; he looks the furthest thing from bothered by this idea.]

[nastyboy]

[Dimitri's face could melt marshmallows.]

It was - our first kiss - [Technically their third, but who's counting] - and I was starting to get... far too passionate, I think.

[vrdantwind]

Is it still too much if I want you to get that passionate with me...? [Claude leans a little closer, eyes roaming over Dimitri's face.]

[nastyboy]

[Oh, shoot.]

I... think so, yes. We have only so recently agreed to any of this, and... It is too much, isn't it?

[vrdantwind]

If it's something we both want, why is it too much? [Claude raises his eyebrows.] Who are you holding yourself back for, if not for me and not for yourself?

[nastyboy]

Is it not for us? [He's starting to look a little perturbed, now.] A relationship should be... It is important. Especially so early on...

[vrdantwind]

Is it? [Claude tilts his head.] What is it you're worried about, Dimitri?

[nastyboy]

I... [It's a struggle to explain, and his gaze flick downwards again.] I do not wish to ruin this... or - This sounds foolish.

[vrdantwind]

No it doesn't. How you feel can't sound foolish to me. [Claude takes Dimitri's hands in his.] This is important to me. Are you worried? Uncomfortable? Because I'd be happy to do anything with you, Dimitri - and I do mean anything - but I don't want you to feel pressured into doing any of it. I don't want you to feel like it's happening too fast, or that it's not special, or like you're doing something wrong.

[nastyboy]

I... I only know the one way to pursue romance. [The courtly version.] That way is what I have thought makes their lover feel cherished, special, loved, and that is what I have always wanted for all of you.

Rushing so quickly... I am uncertain. [He shakes his head, fingers tightening in Claude's grip just a little bit.] And if I am uncertain, I feel that the chance only grows greater that I will do something wrong, something hurtful.

[vrdantwind]

Oh, Dimitri. [Claude relaxes into a smile.] That's sweet...but you know that's not the only way to make people feel loved and cherished and special, right? Honestly, just the way you're looking at me right now makes me feel like that. It's not about having to follow some particular guidelines. A lot of the things you were taught...well, they were about formality, not feeling. Those things can go together, sure, but you don't need one to show the other at all.

I have a hard time picturing you hurting me, when you're so careful about that sort of thing now. [He lifts a hand to cup Dimitri's cheek.] But I can always tell you if you're going off-track, or if you're going too far too fast. Can't I? You holding yourself back isn't the only way to make sure nothing bad happens, you know.

[nastyboy]

Even so, with guidelines, I know that I won't ruin things...

[It had been something he had wondered, occasionally, in the wake of the Tragedy. If he didn't have guidelines, would he fall apart into the wretched monster he knew he was?]

[Sighing, he nuzzles against Claude's palm.]

But... Yes. You could...

[vrdantwind]

Not to completely terrify you, Dimitri, but...all the guidelines you've learned are Faerghus guidelines. [Claude looks amused.] Almyrans have different standards, you know. There isn't some guaranteed formula for success with me...or Grant, for that matter, since he's not from Faerghus, either. Or Felix, who kind of hates the formal Faerghan way of doing things...so really, you were always going to have to have individual approaches for all of us. There's no simple checklist of things to do and things to avoid. There's just...being with us, learning what we like and what we don't like, figuring out what we're okay with. And we have to do the same with you.

[nastyboy]

[Dimitri just makes what sounds faintly like a death rattle.]

I could not make things simple for myself, doing this for the first time with so many different people, could I?

[vrdantwind]

You could have, I guess. [Claude smiles up at him.] But then, would you be dating all of us? Which of us would you be willing to give up in the name of simplicity?

[nastyboy]

No...

[Dimitri nuzzles against Claude's palm some more.]

Never.

[vrdantwind]

Then you might just have to resign yourself to us, and all the messy complications we represent. [Claude's smile broadens as he watches Dimitri nuzzle his hand. It's actually enough to make a minute shiver run through him.]

[nastyboy]

Then I resign myself to such blissful torment gladly. [His lips move against Claude's palm as he speaks, still quiet.]

[vrdantwind]

Speaking of blissful torment... [Claude sighs, fingers lightly shifting to brush against Dimitri's cheek.] I don't mind waiting until you're ready, if that's what you need, but how am I supposed to behave with the things you're doing to me...?

[nastyboy]

[Snapping out of it, Dimitri blinks up at Claude.]

...I'm doing something?

[He hadn't noticed.]