vrdantwind | IC Inbox

"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

nastyboy

[BEFORE MARRIAGE, CLAUDE?]

Oh - I would not want to intrude too much. I can-

[Lie on the floor - wait, no, he thinks people might get upset about that.]

- I can sit in a chair.

From:

vrdantwind

You're not intruding. Besides, how else are you going to be able to go to sleep unless you're settled in? C'mon. [Claude moves over to his bed and settles on one side of it; one of the books Sylvain gave him is there, propped open to a page, and he moves that out of the way as he does. Then he pats the spot next to him.] We're already boyfriends, it's not like this is improper or anything. Especially when you're just going to try to sleep.

From:

nastyboy

I could be settled in a chair...

[But still, for a moment, he's paralyzed with uncertainty as he stands there near the door in his secret Rattata pajamas. Is it improper if they are only boyfriends, and not married? He wants to give Claude so much, after all... but this is only sleeping, isn't it? Does that make it fine-]

[Gremlin almost falls off his head, and Dimitri finally starts to move over to the bed.]

[Gremlin immediately leaps down once they're close enough, curling up on the pillows as well with a twitch of his whiskers, which means Kent can slowly slide back into proper place on Dimitri's head. As for the cloak full of Pokemon? That just gets carefully places down on the ground. Gabby and Gwin are knocked out cold, being just Babies, but Knocker peers out from the furry and blue depths with bright eyes. What's Up.]

[That means there's fortunately plenty of room still on the bed as Dimitri hesitantly sinks down to sit on it.]

...I suppose I did not wake you this time.

From:

vrdantwind

Nah, you know me. Staying up late reading, as usual. [He winks at Dimitri.]

And listen, if you're so worried about lying on a bed with me, why not just lean against me? You've done that before, so that's totally proper. We could even read together - or I could read to you and your team.

[Claude, are you using some very devious logic to convince Dimitri that more intimacy is somehow actually more proper than lying on a bed together not touching?]

From:

nastyboy

I worry that I would be too big than you...

[Still, Dimitri shuffles a little more onto the bed. He doesn't... quite lean against Claude, not yet.]

What are you reading tonight?

From:

vrdantwind

What, you think I'm going to fall over? [Claude grins at him.] I think you'd have to be doing a little more than leaning for that, but if you're worried, just scoot yourself down on the bed a little so your head can be on my shoulder. That way you're not looming and it won't be as much of your weight on me.

[Claude is using some highly persuasive logic to hopefully make something very cute and far more intimate than Dimitri simply lying on his bed happen here.]

As for what I'm reading, it's one of the books Sylvain got me for the holidays. It's all about this country we're in now.

From:

nastyboy

[And it's working, especially on a man who very much wants to just nap. He hesitates just a second before he shuffles over, shifting his head onto Claude's shoulder. It's... very strange, honestly. When's the last time he did this...?]

The people, or the land...?

From:

vrdantwind

[Claude reaches up to gently adjust Kent on Dimitri's head, so the Munna can straddle it at more of an upright angle instead of leaning directly into the side of Claude's own head. Then he displays the page he's on to Dimitri.]

It's a little bit of everything. The people, the land, the history, the culture, the pokémon...right now, I'm reading about how the towns we know today were first established, and how the pokémon in various parts of the region actually influenced certain aspects of the design and development...Sprout Tower's a good example, but it's not the only one. Do you want me to read some to you?

From:

nastyboy

[Kent nudges what exists of his head, just enough to put his snout on Claude's hand in appreciation before he curls up right where he belongs. No nightmares for him to devour yet, but he's sure they'll come in time.]

[In the meanwhile, Dimitri peers at the book.]

That isn't surprising... They're such an important part of life here.

The Ruins of Alph were another similar place, weren't they?

From:

vrdantwind

Mmhm. [Claude leans a bit into Dimitri in turn. It reminds him of the talk he had with Dimitri not that long ago, about how when things are properly balanced, two people leaning on each other can hold each other up at the same time.] You remember when we went there? It

From:

vrdantwind

From:

nastyboy

[Dimitri actually makes a sort of pitiful noise.]

No... That was terrible, Claude.

[He yelled and broke down and cried and also they fell down a trap door.]

I wish to do better for you.

From:

vrdantwind

I still liked it, honestly. Despite everything. [Claude smiles sidelong at him.] Remember when you protected me when we fell? And earlier, when we got up after you'd been having such a rough time, and you looked at me as though you were happy I was there for the first time? Honestly, it felt like the first time you were seeing me at all since we'd arrived. All those moments meant a lot to me. Maybe you weren't doing as well then as you are now, but - I think that without that trip, maybe you wouldn't be here doing as well as you are now. It felt important.

From:

nastyboy

[So that's how it looked to Claude... Dimitri traces nonsense symbols along his pants leg, thinking back to that time.]

...The world felt clearer. It felt... as though it had slowly been becoming clearer throughout the days.

And I felt as though I could focus on you right there in front of me again.

From:

vrdantwind

Did I actually help you any back then? I know I was trying my hardest to, but intentions aren't the same as results. [Claude glances over at him.] I spent a lot of that time feeling like I was hurting you. And maybe sometimes you have to do unpleasant things for someone's own good, like making them take their medicine when they're sick or telling them things they don't want to hear, but...I wasn't even sure I was doing you any good.

I know you were able to look at me clearly for the first time then, but...that doesn't mean it was me who made it happen. The Dimitri from my time, back home...he didn't need my help to get better. I wasn't even there.

From:

nastyboy

....Are you not comparing two different circumstances?

I have no knowledge of what that man went through, what was able to change him. [He has his suspicions, but...] I can only say what happened here.

And... it was true, that you were frustrating, at first. I felt as though you were just... in denial. That you were refusing to accept something that felt obvious to me, and that you kept concocting elaborate excuses for it. Not only that, but you kept speaking so much, and it felt too overwhelming. I could only focus on so much.

But... You were the person I still felt I could turn to, when things did not seem so clear cut. I felt as though you were someone who could put me on the right track again.

And... you did.

[Dimitri turns his face into Claude's shoulder.]

You helped.

From:

vrdantwind

I don't think there's any cure for my talking too much, so hopefully it's a little less overwhelming now. [Claude strokes Dimitri's hair. The reassurance that he didn't just make everything worse - or at least, that he didn't simply fail to make anything better - means a lot to him. Dimitri's improved dramatically over time, but Claude's not arrogant enough to think he's the sole cause - and, factoring in Grant and Chip and Sylvain and Felix and who knows who else Dimitri has talked with here, he really couldn't judge the level of his partial contribution at all. He'd thought it was entirely possible there might not have been any.

Knowing that all his effort and worry wasn't in vain, that he could actually help someone it meant so much to him to try to help, is a relief.]

It's kind of funny how we both felt like the other one was in denial, though.

From:

nastyboy

I like listening to you talk...

[Sometimes to listen. Sometimes to try and learn. It depends.]

[But nights like this... Dimitri lets his eye close.]

Mm. It felt as though... You were saying the sky was magenta, over and over again, when I could see that it wasn't. It was infuriating... [A low sigh.] But I suppose I was the one wearing a blindfold...

From:

vrdantwind

Don't let the others hear you say that, they'll complain you're encouraging me. [Claude chuckles.]

That said...I know a lot of evidence is in my favor, but to be entirely fair, none of us know exactly what this is or what's going on. I don't want to believe we're dead, and I don't intend to, and there are some persuasive arguments that we're not...but can I prove it? Does this place operate by the same logic we're used to? The answer is no to both those questions. I think you're much better off without that fatalistic view of the world, especially since I think it was some sort of self-inflicted punishment you were giving yourself in some weird way...but I can't pretend like I've got answers, much less the right answers. All I have is a willingness to accept that I don't know, and to try and figure things out based on what we know instead of having any preconceptions.

From:

nastyboy

...Have we not simply ended up in another realm? Like the Professor?

[...Did any of them ever tell Claude about that and how that's why Byleth has green hair now - ]

From:

vrdantwind

I mean, that's definitely the likeliest possibility the way I look at it. [Whether or not anyone ever bothered to inform Claude of their own accord, he definitely pried and asked questions and investigated until someone in the Blue Lions gave him the details. Or perhaps he got the details directly from Byleth. Trust him to have found out some way or another, though - it isn't a secret that anyone was really going to be able to keep, assuming anyone tried to keep it secret at all.] But the fact is, can I prove that's the case? Can anyone? There's a lot against your "we're all dead" theory, and I still don't believe it can be the right answer. I'm just saying that even I'm only guessing at a lot of things. I'm no authority, Dimitri. All I'm doing is looking at logic and probability and making my best guesses, the same as anyone else here.

The only thing my theories have over yours is that there are fewer logical arguments against them. Neither of us have definitive proof who's right or wrong. And the truth is...I never knew for sure, even when I was arguing with you, that you were wrong. I just knew I didn't believe it could be true, and that it'd feel wrong to let you believe something I didn't think could be right. Although I think part of it might also have been that...I hated the thought of you believing something so bleak. Being so miserable. I wonder if I might've argued against you believing it even if I did think logic was on your side, just because I would have wanted you to have hope.

From:

nastyboy

[Hope...]

..You are a good person, Claude. Thank you for caring, even despite how I was.

From:

vrdantwind

I couldn't stop caring about you if I tried, Dimitri. And I never tried at all until we were here, and I started caring about you more than seemed appropriate if you were interested in someone else. And even then, I was just trying to cut back, not stop. [He smiles.] But you should be trying to sleep, shouldn't you?

From:

nastyboy

...Will you continue to speak, even as I close my eye?

From:

vrdantwind

Absolutely. I did already offer to read to you out of my book, if you want...although if you'd like me to talk about other things, I can do that, too. Whatever you need.