....Are you not comparing two different circumstances?
I have no knowledge of what that man went through, what was able to change him. [He has his suspicions, but...] I can only say what happened here.
And... it was true, that you were frustrating, at first. I felt as though you were just... in denial. That you were refusing to accept something that felt obvious to me, and that you kept concocting elaborate excuses for it. Not only that, but you kept speaking so much, and it felt too overwhelming. I could only focus on so much.
But... You were the person I still felt I could turn to, when things did not seem so clear cut. I felt as though you were someone who could put me on the right track again.
I don't think there's any cure for my talking too much, so hopefully it's a little less overwhelming now. [Claude strokes Dimitri's hair. The reassurance that he didn't just make everything worse - or at least, that he didn't simply fail to make anything better - means a lot to him. Dimitri's improved dramatically over time, but Claude's not arrogant enough to think he's the sole cause - and, factoring in Grant and Chip and Sylvain and Felix and who knows who else Dimitri has talked with here, he really couldn't judge the level of his partial contribution at all. He'd thought it was entirely possible there might not have been any.
Knowing that all his effort and worry wasn't in vain, that he could actually help someone it meant so much to him to try to help, is a relief.]
It's kind of funny how we both felt like the other one was in denial, though.
[Sometimes to listen. Sometimes to try and learn. It depends.]
[But nights like this... Dimitri lets his eye close.]
Mm. It felt as though... You were saying the sky was magenta, over and over again, when I could see that it wasn't. It was infuriating... [A low sigh.] But I suppose I was the one wearing a blindfold...
Don't let the others hear you say that, they'll complain you're encouraging me. [Claude chuckles.]
That said...I know a lot of evidence is in my favor, but to be entirely fair, none of us know exactly what this is or what's going on. I don't want to believe we're dead, and I don't intend to, and there are some persuasive arguments that we're not...but can I prove it? Does this place operate by the same logic we're used to? The answer is no to both those questions. I think you're much better off without that fatalistic view of the world, especially since I think it was some sort of self-inflicted punishment you were giving yourself in some weird way...but I can't pretend like I've got answers, much less the right answers. All I have is a willingness to accept that I don't know, and to try and figure things out based on what we know instead of having any preconceptions.
I mean, that's definitely the likeliest possibility the way I look at it. [Whether or not anyone ever bothered to inform Claude of their own accord, he definitely pried and asked questions and investigated until someone in the Blue Lions gave him the details. Or perhaps he got the details directly from Byleth. Trust him to have found out some way or another, though - it isn't a secret that anyone was really going to be able to keep, assuming anyone tried to keep it secret at all.] But the fact is, can I prove that's the case? Can anyone? There's a lot against your "we're all dead" theory, and I still don't believe it can be the right answer. I'm just saying that even I'm only guessing at a lot of things. I'm no authority, Dimitri. All I'm doing is looking at logic and probability and making my best guesses, the same as anyone else here.
The only thing my theories have over yours is that there are fewer logical arguments against them. Neither of us have definitive proof who's right or wrong. And the truth is...I never knew for sure, even when I was arguing with you, that you were wrong. I just knew I didn't believe it could be true, and that it'd feel wrong to let you believe something I didn't think could be right. Although I think part of it might also have been that...I hated the thought of you believing something so bleak. Being so miserable. I wonder if I might've argued against you believing it even if I did think logic was on your side, just because I would have wanted you to have hope.
I couldn't stop caring about you if I tried, Dimitri. And I never tried at all until we were here, and I started caring about you more than seemed appropriate if you were interested in someone else. And even then, I was just trying to cut back, not stop. [He smiles.] But you should be trying to sleep, shouldn't you?
Absolutely. I did already offer to read to you out of my book, if you want...although if you'd like me to talk about other things, I can do that, too. Whatever you need.
[Even though the words are by no means unexpected under the circumstances, Claude melts nonetheless, giving Dimitri a soft smile that the man won't even see.] I love you too, نور چشمم.
[The words are completely unfamiliar, obviously Almyran.]
[Oh. It's very possible to feel Dimitri go boneless against Claude's shoulder, even as he tries to hide his face against it. Ignore the slight bump of Kent.]
The reason I called you that is because it's what you already are. [Claude leans in to press a kiss to the top of Dimitri's head, since he's trying to hide everything else.] Like the star of your Crest - no matter what happens, your light shines through eventually. And I can't get enough of looking.
[Dimitri nudges his nose further against Claude's shoulder. Kent is having to make some impressive adjustments for all of this, although he doesn't seem to mind. It's just a light exercise before dinner, right?]
Was I? [Claude smiles, lifting a hand to brush fingers through Dimitri's bangs. (With Kent where he is, Claude doesn't have too much access to his hair.)] How so?
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Date: 2021-02-02 08:05 pm (UTC)I have no knowledge of what that man went through, what was able to change him. [He has his suspicions, but...] I can only say what happened here.
And... it was true, that you were frustrating, at first. I felt as though you were just... in denial. That you were refusing to accept something that felt obvious to me, and that you kept concocting elaborate excuses for it. Not only that, but you kept speaking so much, and it felt too overwhelming. I could only focus on so much.
But... You were the person I still felt I could turn to, when things did not seem so clear cut. I felt as though you were someone who could put me on the right track again.
And... you did.
[Dimitri turns his face into Claude's shoulder.]
You helped.
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Date: 2021-02-03 02:38 pm (UTC)Knowing that all his effort and worry wasn't in vain, that he could actually help someone it meant so much to him to try to help, is a relief.]
It's kind of funny how we both felt like the other one was in denial, though.
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Date: 2021-02-04 06:12 pm (UTC)[Sometimes to listen. Sometimes to try and learn. It depends.]
[But nights like this... Dimitri lets his eye close.]
Mm. It felt as though... You were saying the sky was magenta, over and over again, when I could see that it wasn't. It was infuriating... [A low sigh.] But I suppose I was the one wearing a blindfold...
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Date: 2021-02-06 04:01 pm (UTC)That said...I know a lot of evidence is in my favor, but to be entirely fair, none of us know exactly what this is or what's going on. I don't want to believe we're dead, and I don't intend to, and there are some persuasive arguments that we're not...but can I prove it? Does this place operate by the same logic we're used to? The answer is no to both those questions. I think you're much better off without that fatalistic view of the world, especially since I think it was some sort of self-inflicted punishment you were giving yourself in some weird way...but I can't pretend like I've got answers, much less the right answers. All I have is a willingness to accept that I don't know, and to try and figure things out based on what we know instead of having any preconceptions.
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Date: 2021-02-07 06:06 pm (UTC)[...Did any of them ever tell Claude about that and how that's why Byleth has green hair now - ]
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Date: 2021-02-08 03:01 pm (UTC)The only thing my theories have over yours is that there are fewer logical arguments against them. Neither of us have definitive proof who's right or wrong. And the truth is...I never knew for sure, even when I was arguing with you, that you were wrong. I just knew I didn't believe it could be true, and that it'd feel wrong to let you believe something I didn't think could be right. Although I think part of it might also have been that...I hated the thought of you believing something so bleak. Being so miserable. I wonder if I might've argued against you believing it even if I did think logic was on your side, just because I would have wanted you to have hope.
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Date: 2021-02-09 07:56 am (UTC)..You are a good person, Claude. Thank you for caring, even despite how I was.
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Date: 2021-02-10 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-10 06:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-11 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-12 01:46 am (UTC)[Dimitri lets loose a long, slow breath, before he lets his eye shut.]
Thank you, Claude. I love you.
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Date: 2021-02-13 05:49 am (UTC)[The words are completely unfamiliar, obviously Almyran.]
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Date: 2021-02-13 11:17 pm (UTC)Was that Almyran? What did you say? I have never heard it before.
[Srengese, yes, he can understand that, but anything else...]
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Date: 2021-02-15 02:58 am (UTC)Yes, it's Almyran. And roughly translated...well, it means something like "the light of my eyes".
[Rip in rest, Dimitri.]
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Date: 2021-02-15 07:19 pm (UTC)...If I can live up to such a name...
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Date: 2021-02-15 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 02:27 am (UTC)...You were always the star, in my eyes...
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Date: 2021-02-16 10:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-17 04:36 am (UTC)You're an incredible leader.
[Everything he felt that he wasn't.]
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Date: 2021-02-19 05:53 pm (UTC)[He knows it isn't. He's fishing for compliments.]
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Date: 2021-02-20 08:30 am (UTC)The other ways I was fond of you could not be likened to a star.
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Date: 2021-02-24 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-25 03:10 am (UTC)It is the opposite of what was requested, true. So... I will close my eye now, and just... listen.
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Date: 2021-02-25 03:15 am (UTC)[And Claude begins reading from his book, his voice soft, feeling so much love for the man leaning against him that he can hardly stand it.]