I thought it'd be relieving! It's not always about making fun of you!
[The subject of Ingrid returns him to a slightly more sober mindset.] Anyway, I don't think I'd call her vicious herself, but the lectures sure were. That said, I think a lot of it was more...context? I mean, you guys grew up with her, she probably knows the three of you down to your bones. And when she gives you a stern lecture, you know it's because she knows you and she cares about you. But...imagine someone who barely knows you, who's barely even tried to get to know you, came up and started lecturing you the way she does. And that some of the things she's complaining about aren't even accurate? But she just says you're lying when you contradict her!
It wouldn't feel like that person cares about you and wants the best for you. It wouldn't even feel like that person knows you. It'd feel like getting a tongue-lashing from a total stranger who's decided your flaws are somehow their business, except they're not even your flaws. They're someone else's. It's someone else deciding they know who you are and what you're like for you, based on a completely different person, and by the way, they hate it. And they want to make the fact that they hate who they've decided you are your problem.
[...huh. Claude's starting to wonder if maybe the stuff that happened with Ingrid bothered him more than he thought at the time. There's an unpleasant feeling welling up as he talks about it.]
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Date: 2020-12-25 11:10 am (UTC)[The subject of Ingrid returns him to a slightly more sober mindset.] Anyway, I don't think I'd call her vicious herself, but the lectures sure were. That said, I think a lot of it was more...context? I mean, you guys grew up with her, she probably knows the three of you down to your bones. And when she gives you a stern lecture, you know it's because she knows you and she cares about you. But...imagine someone who barely knows you, who's barely even tried to get to know you, came up and started lecturing you the way she does. And that some of the things she's complaining about aren't even accurate? But she just says you're lying when you contradict her!
It wouldn't feel like that person cares about you and wants the best for you. It wouldn't even feel like that person knows you. It'd feel like getting a tongue-lashing from a total stranger who's decided your flaws are somehow their business, except they're not even your flaws. They're someone else's. It's someone else deciding they know who you are and what you're like for you, based on a completely different person, and by the way, they hate it. And they want to make the fact that they hate who they've decided you are your problem.
[...huh. Claude's starting to wonder if maybe the stuff that happened with Ingrid bothered him more than he thought at the time. There's an unpleasant feeling welling up as he talks about it.]