vrdantwind | IC Inbox

[This time instead of calling ahead, Dimitri is a bit more active the next time he goes to see Claude. Honestly, Claude has probably noticed the other man's desperate attempts to be quiet as he's gone... up and down the hallway a couple of times, quiet knocks heralding him speaking to some of the others...]

[Before it's eventually Claude's turn, with a quiet knock on his door.]

[Dimitri seems a bit breathless, and a little red, as he stands there.]

Oh good, you're still awake.

[Claude has been listening to Dimitri pacing the hall, chatting with the others, and the fact that he's controlled his endless curiosity all throughout to the point of not investigating is honestly a testament to how much he values all of them. They were doing things together - talking, at least - and shouldn't he let them? And, after all, it was only a few days ago that he'd gotten to have Dimitri all to himself for a night, sleeping on his shoulder. Maybe this is Dimitri trying to even some invisible score by fussing over the others. ~~Or seeking reassurance that he hasn't made Claude a ruined man for sharing his bed before marriage, even if it was completely innocent bed-sharing. Also not out of the question.~~

So he's surprised but pleased when there's a knock on his door - apparently, good things come to those who wait, and it simply wasn't his turn yet. He opens the door with a smile.]

How could I not be, wondering what you've been up to out here? I've been dying of curiosity for an hour.

[Has it been an hour, or is Claude exaggerating? Dimitri ~~and the content of his other threads~~ knows.]

[Dimitri is red faced already when Claude opens the door, and his skin only turns an even more vivid hue at Claude's teasing. Still, with two of his lovers spoken to beforehand, he thinks he's getting the hang of this, and he reaches out to take Claude's hands in his.]

Then... Allow me to answer that curiosity of yours, my love.

[It does not take very much effort for Dimitri to lean down, or to lightly press his lips against Claude's, a chaste little kiss that lasts only a moment.]

[Oh, that's completely unfair. Dimitri sweeps Claude's legs out from under him by calling him 'my love' when Claude isn't remotely prepared for that level of romance right off the bat, and then...the elbow drop from the ropes on Claude's already prone psyche that is suddenly being kissed. By Dimitri, the one man he's dating that he hasn't kissed before.

Claude's eyes fly wide open, and they're still wide when Dimitri pulls back. (Unsurprising, since Dimitri doesn't let the kiss last long.) He stares at Dimitri, momentarily breathless.]

...I think I just have more questions now... [The words are weak, but he's doing well to have gotten them out at all.]

[There's a little tickle of delight, seeing such a flabbergasted and breathless expression on Claude's face. Part of it is no doubt a holdover from their student days, knowing he could surprise even the world's greatest tactician.]

[The other part is just happy to give such a moment to him.]

I love you. [He presses a kiss to Claude's cheek, having grown at least a little confident over the night.] I hope that is a suitable answer.

Hey, remember that I'm not trying to discourage you here - I'm just trying to offer a second perspective. If the Dusk Stone incorporation is important to you, then the hell with the aesthetics - that means more. And Felix isn't going to care about what it looks like nearly as much as he'll care about the meaning.

That goes for the engraving, too. What's romantic to you and Felix is what's important, not what I think. Is there a specific way you guys have talked about that promise? Any specific wording? Then use that. Even if it won't be romantic to anyone else, it'll be romantic to the two of you - and you're the ones getting married. That's all that matters.

Did I actually help you any back then? I know I was trying my hardest to, but intentions aren't the same as results. [Claude glances over at him.] I spent a lot of that time feeling like I was hurting you. And maybe sometimes you have to do unpleasant things for someone's own good, like making them take their medicine when they're sick or telling them things they don't want to hear, but...I wasn't even sure I was doing you any good.

I know you were able to look at me clearly for the first time then, but...that doesn't mean it was me who made it happen. The Dimitri from my time, back home...he didn't need my help to get better. I wasn't even there.

When you say and do things like that, how am I even supposed to remember what the questions were? [Claude's voice is almost plaintive. Dimitri, how can you do these things to him. He's dying, Dimitri. He's dying and you're killing him.]

Does this mean I'm allowed to kiss you now?

[Oh - Dimtiri lets loose a breathy little laugh, swaying slightly in place as he keeps Claude's hands in his, and can't help going more pink despite the fact that he has now kissed multiple men in a very short time frame.]

I - if you would like to.

[Claude laughs quietly.] Do you know how long I've been waiting to? [It's only a brief teasing, as a hand reaches up to guide Dimitri's head down by the back of his neck into a kiss.

This one is...significantly longer. And less innocent. Claude's not forcing anything on Dimitri, of course, but it's definitely an open-mouthed kiss.]

[Jaskier is, indeed, good at reading too much into things, so he watches Claude's reaction closely, trying to decide how to approach this. Usually he wouldn't even hesitate to attack, but after their little text exchange? It's hard to choose something that Claude can't use against him as well. Like that many people have room in their hearts for more than one person speech he got after he brought up Yennefer. That would be fucking perfect to use right now! It would also bring his own doom.]

Does he not? The first thing he did when he met me -after ignoring my perfectly good introduction and my offered hand, may I add- was to call me "the business that came up".

[He steals back his mug of hot chocolate to drink some more while Claude explains what he meant. The most polished, attractive side of yourself, he says and- okay, Jaskier can admit that is fair enough. He still wouldn't put himself on the same level of calculated presentation Claude does for his own persona, but it seems that while Claude acknowledges the similarities between them, he also accepts they aren't on the same level, judging by that degrees comment.]

Respect doesn't make history. [He finally replies, a phrase he told Geralt over two decades ago and still believes in. It's not that he likes how much polishing his storytelling must go through, but you gotta do what you gotta do. And Claude understands that, which is refreshing by itself. Being prickly to protect your softer side reminds him of Geralt and ugh, what an awful comparison. Comparing Geralt to Dimitri is fine, but to Felix? Heaven forbid.] That's a lot of words just to say Felix simply doesn't know how to have good manners. [Wink~! Definitely only teasing, Jaskier loves words.] But alright, I do concede your point. Your reasoning, however, brings up an interesting observation: if Felix was protecting himself from my presence, that means the subject of our benefits arregement made him feel vulnerable.

[So that's a no to dropping the Felix subject, sorry Claude (not).

The bard visibly tenses when Claude says he can almost understand why people think of witchers as something other, and he has to remind himself this is just his friend expressing his understanding of how different Geralt is and he doesn't actually mean it in a bad way. His tone is sympathetic and Jaskier knows the shit Claude has gone through, so he would be the last person on the planet to judge a witcher for what he is. But what he can say? Old habits die hard, and this songbird will always be ready to jump in and use his song to protect his wolf.]

Difficult barely starts to describe it. And while I appreciate your compassion, Claude dear, I must ask you for a little favor: don't ever word it like that to him. He may complain about being called human and refuse to be put on the same level as our kind, but bringing attention to the differences may sour a conversation.

[Jaskier does talk about the mutations often to him, even tease him about them, but he's earned that right, earned Geralt's trust... and even then the witcher still get grumpy at him for doing so sometimes. Touchy subjects don't stop being touchy overnight, after all.]

You're correct, it may be too sweet for him. But speaking of trying out new things- [He suddenly grins, a mischievous glint on his blue eyes.] I thought we could do some shopping before heading for the inn. I don't know if you've noticed this, but this world has entire stores dedicated to sex paraphernalia.

[He raises his eyebrows, his excitement about the mere idea more than obvious.]

i know, i know.
maybe i just don't want to give felix and an excuse to look even more silly than he usually does.
you've seen the sleeve of his coat, right?
i can't have the ring he's going to wear for the rest of his life clashing just like the rest of him, you know ;)

you know i know we're talking about proposing but it keeps putting it into perspective when you say we're getting married
it feels real.
i'm gonna get married
happily

[Oh.]

[Dimitri, roughly, vaguely, understands that there are a variety of different kisses. That's just how things are. However, to actually experience it, the passion and hunger in Claude's lips as they press against his own and the heat from his breath...]

[Dimitri shudders, fingers squeezing around Claude's free hand, and he breaks the kiss briefly with his forehead pressed against Claude's.]

I... don't know how to reciprocate properly, this kind of kiss...

....Are you not comparing two different circumstances?

I have no knowledge of what that man went through, what was able to change him. [He has his suspicions, but...] I can only say what happened here.

And... it was true, that you were frustrating, at first. I felt as though you were just... in denial. That you were refusing to accept something that felt obvious to me, and that you kept concocting elaborate excuses for it. Not only that, but you kept speaking so much, and it felt too overwhelming. I could only focus on so much.

But... You were the person I still felt I could turn to, when things did not seem so clear cut. I felt as though you were someone who could put me on the right track again.

And... you did.

[Dimitri turns his face into Claude's shoulder.]

You helped.

Hah! Going to try to elevate his fashion sense all by yourself, are you?

And you are. It's going to be wonderful. I hope that only becomes clearer and makes you even happier the more time passes, and the more you think about it.

[Okay, Claude has to sputter with laughter for a moment.] Oh, gods. Classic Felix, he's got all the tact of a brick to the teeth. [He shakes his head, smiling.] Anyway, a day without Felix grousing about some incredibly minor inconvenience would be like a day where the sun refused to come up. I wouldn't bother reading too much into his rudeness.

I wouldn't read too much into his prickliness, either. It's a constant, preemptive defense; he's like that literally all the time. It's when he lets himself be vulnerable that it's noteworthy, not when he's trying to avoid it.

[The fact that Felix has definitely let himself be vulnerable around Claude - in ways Felix has himself admitted he's vulnerable around no one else - is something Claude wisely holds back. He'd never hear the end of it.

He listens to Jaskier's advice attentively.] I'll keep that in mind. I don't want to offend someone who's so important to you, after all.

I personally have my doubts humanity is something that's easy to wipe out of someone who started human - certainly not by things like altering how their senses work. Geralt might be on a different level from non-witchers, but I'd take some convincing to believe that he's somehow less human for that. I can just see how easy it must be for witchers and non-witchers to feel like they've got very little common ground - it sounds like the differences are more obvious than the similarities.

[He cocks an eyebrow at Jaskier.] So he doesn't want to be associated with 'humans' like us, but pointing out the things that make him different from people like us won't go over well...it sounds like he's not exactly at peace with that perceived separation. I wonder why he insists on it himself, then...?

[But then all other topics are shelved at Jaskier's suggestion, and Claude's eyes light up.] I hadn't noticed it yet, but I imagined there must be advances in that area...and I've been dying to find out what they are. And what better company could I ask for, for an adventure like this?

Ah, but before we go, and before I forget...I have a gift for you. [And he reaches down to his belt, pulling out a PokéBall and sliding it across the table.] I caught this little guy in Ilex Forest, and I thought of you immediately. He makes music!

You could just follow my lead. [Claude chuckles breathlessly.] Learn by example, that sort of thing...

I don't think there's any cure for my talking too much, so hopefully it's a little less overwhelming now. [Claude strokes Dimitri's hair. The reassurance that he didn't just make everything worse - or at least, that he didn't simply fail to make anything better - means a lot to him. Dimitri's improved dramatically over time, but Claude's not arrogant enough to think he's the sole cause - and, factoring in Grant and Chip and Sylvain and Felix and who knows who else Dimitri has talked with here, he really couldn't judge the level of his partial contribution at all. He'd thought it was entirely possible there might not have been any.

Knowing that all his effort and worry wasn't in vain, that he could actually help someone it meant so much to him to try to help, is a relief.]

It's kind of funny how we both felt like the other one was in denial, though.

Is that alright? [Dimitri is just as breathless, one hand brushing against Claude's waist.] I want this to be good for you...

I like listening to you talk...

[Sometimes to listen. Sometimes to try and learn. It depends.]

[But nights like this... Dimitri lets his eye close.]

Mm. It felt as though... You were saying the sky was magenta, over and over again, when I could see that it wasn't. It was infuriating... [A low sigh.] But I suppose I was the one wearing a blindfold...

Ah yes, he did try to convince me this was the afterlife and didn't take it well when I poked all kinds of holes in his logic. I do remember him having a very bleak view of things in general, even outside his little theory, so him having been in a bad place explains a lot. In fact, I'd say it's relieving to hear those aren't his real views of the world - I'm also glad to hear he's improved since then.

[Funny how suddenly "being interested in someone else" is suddenly a valid excuse in Claude's eyes when he's just been telling Jaskier about people being able to love more than one person at the same time. He wants to call him out for this hypocrisy, but it's difficult when it may bite him back in the ass... he's sure Claude would use any argument against him in an oh now you agree? way. Mmmh.]

Yet you are the one he had a kid with. ;) But a fussing Dimitri? I'd love to witness that.

[That's what you get for teaching him the winking emote, Claude.]

Oh? And you think your kissing me the way I want to kiss you has any chance of being bad for me? [Claude's eyes are dancing.] Dimitri, if I didn't want a kiss like that, I wouldn't be the one making it happen.

Don't let the others hear you say that, they'll complain you're encouraging me. [Claude chuckles.]

That said...I know a lot of evidence is in my favor, but to be entirely fair, none of us know exactly what this is or what's going on. I don't want to believe we're dead, and I don't intend to, and there are some persuasive arguments that we're not...but can I prove it? Does this place operate by the same logic we're used to? The answer is no to both those questions. I think you're much better off without that fatalistic view of the world, especially since I think it was some sort of self-inflicted punishment you were giving yourself in some weird way...but I can't pretend like I've got answers, much less the right answers. All I have is a willingness to accept that I don't know, and to try and figure things out based on what we know instead of having any preconceptions.

Hah - I did the same thing. As gently as I could, considering I didn't want to hurt him and he was miserable enough at the time, but it felt wrong to leave him just denying basic logic and reality like that. Like I'd be leaving him vulnerable and floundering in the dark if I let him believe things I knew couldn't be true.

But yeah, he's come a long way. I don't know when you talked to him last, but you can barely recognize him between when I first arrived here and now.

[To be fair to Claude, he didn't exactly say "and because Dimitri is interested in someone else, he can't be interested in me". He just loosely implied it as a way to shut down Jaskier's painful suppositions. That said, when a man is actively interested in someone other than yourself, Claude thinks there needs to be some solid evidence that either he's actively interested in you, or some persuasive logic that he potentially could be. Claude feels he could build a case for that with Jaskier and Geralt, but that Jaskier can't do the same with any of Claude's relationships.

(In point of fact, he's uncomfortably aware that this may be more due to Jaskier's lacking the necessary knowledge to build such a case than from a lack of persuasive material - if he were so inclined, Claude thinks he could build some decent arguments with what he knows for Dimitri. But personally, he chalks that more up to his own silver tongue and Dimitri's earnest nature than because he thinks there's any credible chance. That's why he wants to nip those speculations of Jaskier's in the bud - they can't lead anywhere good. After all, Geralt seems like a man who might be casual enough to have multiple lovers, but Dimitri? Absurd.)]

Actually, kids are baby goats. Fawns are baby deer. ;) But maybe I should bring Dimitri with me when we drop Sicily off?

I just - I don't know how -

[But Dimitri supposes the only way to change that is to do it. So, swallowing his nervousness, Dimitri wraps his arm around Claude's waist and pulls him close.]

[Kissing Claude like this... feels as though he's going to swallow him whole. There's a heat bubbling in him, a heat fed by this kiss, and he can't help but chase it as his attempts at this new way of kissing slowly grow all the more ravenous.]

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the night of whenever Sylvain does his Dimitri date

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