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[vrdantwind]

"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

Comments

[woofdad]

Yeah, I know, and don't get me wrong, they seem like good guys. But I guess it's force of habit still making it difficult - or, well, not habit exactly, there was only so much I could do to keep it from people back home. More that, now that I have the opportunity to keep it to myself, it's a little hard to make the decision to give that up. Even if you guys' world doesn't have the same prejudices toward us as mine, it's still a little scary to tell someone I used to turn into a monster every month, you know?

But I guess we'll find out. I'm definitely going to have to tell them at some point, with us all traveling together.

More like I've been spinning in circles around it my whole life. I changed circumstances and living situations a few times growing up, and what I was being taught to think of myself (my condition, technically, but let's be real) changed with it. Took me a while to work it out as an adult after all that.

[Hahaha oh god.]

Claude, that is a fair thought and I don't mind that you brought it up, but I am absolutely not going to bite anyone sexually. You're right that it's partly an issue of habit, but, one: I'm actually not sure I'm willing to assume it's safe here? I mean, I don't show any symptoms most of the time, but given that they come back on those weekends, I'm not sure the curse isn't still in my system. For all I know, it might still be transmittable, just with the effects suppressed most of the time.

Two, Believe it or not, I already know I don't want to when it's safe; there are these curse blocking treatments people can get back home - usually they're a self-defense thing, though most people don't bother with them if they don't think they're at high risk of getting cursed, like if they've been threatened. Anyway, they are known to protect against lycanthropy infection, and I've actually had more than boyfriend start them (fine, understandable, a good precaution), and then start asking me to bite them, and each time has felt like the new worst conversation of my life. Which, the unpleasantness probably had to do with those guys kind of being weird assholes in general, but the point remains that I'd rather not bite anyone in any context.

[Of course, Grant's brain follows a similar path to the topic of Dimitri, though in a... very different way. God, he hopes Dimitri doesn't want him to bite him. It doesn't seem like he would, but it's hard to be sure? What if he does? That might get weird.

Then again, that's all assuming they even get to the point of intimacy to begin with, and neither of them concludes they've made a huge mistake before then. Hell, he hasn't even told Dimitri he wants to try it yet, what if he's changed his mind in the interim - which also seems unlikely, but what if?

Fuck, now he's nervous all over again.]

[fingersandteeth]

No, no, they're definitely dating. Scorpia's assured me on that point.

The radio stuff is because I used to work at the Tower. I started out in the receptions area, then they let me into the Newsroom back in May. I had a background in broadcast media back home? Television rather than radio, but it's similar enough. Fight Club happened because my ex-boyfriend, Jack, was looking to invest in a few new ventures--which is how Medusa, the resident burlesque club also exist by the way--and I had the idea for it and roped my friend Tyler into it pretty much right away. Tyler was actually the guy who ran Fight Club on a day to day basis until a couple weeks ago, but he disappeared about a week after Jack did and I... ended up in charge, with nothing but two native employees and some of Tyler's pokemon to help. Which lead to me leaving the Tower and hiring Scorpia and Chloe and thank God that Thace (my new boyfriend) is up to helping out with most of it.

But yeah, I'm glad I found him too. Jack and I were only nominally together by the end there--I was actually getting ready to leave him before he disappeared? Just because, well... the thing about dating a narcissist is that it's really great at first? Because his ego has him pulling out all the stops for you? But after you're past the early relationship, it starts to take its toll, because you're always putting more into the relationship than he is.

[And you know, the whole thing where Steven found out what Jack did to his daughter, but that's not the kind of dirty laundry you air to just anyone.]

But Thace isn't like that, thank god. Our relationship feels a lot more equitable.

[Text | Dec 4th]

[rollstoseduce]

Dear Claude, Happy New Year. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. The future is your story to write... make next year the best one yet.

Sorry for the late message, things have been a little complicated. We left Violet early today, we're on our way to Goldenrod now. I hope your travels find you well.

[vrdantwind]

Hm. Is it offensive if I object to you calling yourself a monster? Only I know of times in our world where people have genuinely turned into monsters, and I think that should mean more than just temporarily changing shape into something that's mostly dog-like. But that could be different standards from different places...and maybe you don't like having your curse downplayed?

But I guess you've got a point. Suppressed symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you're not still a carrier, huh? Not that it matters, really; if you wouldn't be comfortable doing it regardless, then it doesn't matter if you can pass it or not because there's no reason to even test it. Sorry for the weird questions and uncomfortable subjects, but when I get new information I just naturally start turning it over in my head every which way. I hope I'm not making it an unpleasant conversation, because I appreciate you trusting me so much.

That said, a guy like you doesn't deserve to have had a string of weird asshole boyfriends. Hell, you don't deserve to have even had one. But if there's anyone who can break that streak for you, it'd be Dimitri. He'll treat you...well, I was going to say like a prince, but he's been a prince and he never liked being treated as one much. So he'll treat you better than a prince. I think I've mentioned it before, but at his best, you can't ask for a better guy than Dimitri is. And you've done a lot helping him get back to that.

[vrdantwind]

Hey, happy new year to you too, Jaskier! I feel like we both dropped the ball, though. We started traveling right before the new year, and we've been on the road since, and I might actually die of exposure while my heartless companions look on, insisting I'm just whining. Anyway, point is, I haven't been on my Gear as much as I usually am when I'm in a city. Sorry I didn't check in myself!

On the plus side, we're on our way to Goldenrod ourselves! If we keep up the pace, we should be in the city by the end of the week. Maybe we can have a reunion over a nice hot meal? I'd take a nice hot anything right now, and for once that's not necessarily innuendo. But I won't stop you reading into it if you want~. ;)

I have to ask, though - what's been complicating things on your end? Everything okay?

[vrdantwind]

I generally tend to. [Claude grins, enjoying Felix's fierce blush. (Not that Felix ever does anything by halves.) Felix is cute when he blushes, and when he's invested in other people; delightfully, calling him out on the latter tends to lead to the former. Claude personally can't get enough of it.]

And true, I guess that is an obvious conclusion. [Which almost seems to imply 'and it is in fact what happened' without actually saying so. Lying by omission is the easiest kind of lying.] But why leave Teach out of your guesswork? You act like it'd be just between me and Dimitri.

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix isn't even looking at Claude, but he can feel the man grinning at him. Ugh, he's so obnoxious when he's right.]

Oh. I didn't think they would have much to say on rulership of the continent after the war. I have great respect for the professor, but they are not much more 'big picture' than I am.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude sighs dramatically.] All right, all right, I'll let you in on one thing. We didn't really discuss how the rule of Fodlan would be divided after the war at all after Derdriu. [Again - true, lying only by omission. It was made very clear after Derdriu, in its own way, who would be ruling Fodlan if the Kingdom won the war. But technically, there had been no talk of splitting rulership because Claude had taken himself out of that equation.] I mean, the war's far from won yet, right? Worrying about how it'll all shake out afterwards would be pretty premature. We focused much more on the immediate future. But that's all the information you're getting!

[vrdantwind]

Considering they're already sharing a surname, I predict a happy future for the couple.

Man, I'm still learning this technology stuff. I think I read about the Radio Tower, at least. But a lot of the things you're talking about are still new to me. We lacked a lot of the amenities and advancements this world has back where I'm from.

That relationship sounds rough, though. Someone treating you well more to pump themselves up about being an amazing partner than because they care about you personally or wanting to make you feel good? No class at all. You seem like a nice guy; you deserve better. And it sounds like you've found it.

Is this Thace guy going to be jealous if you're eyeing up my friend while he's shirtless, though? Or does he appreciate a little eye candy himself and won't hold it against you?

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix does look at Claude now, with a bit of mild suspicion.]

But you said how Fodlan would end up after the war had already been decided by your time. So if you didn't discuss it, how did you decide it? Or is all of this just a bunch of nonsense to throw me off?

[vrdantwind]

[Shit. Did he say that? When? Claude covers by mock frowning and shaking his head.] Now you're just confusing me. Are we talking about strategies for the war, or what comes after? You said stuff about me and Dimitri planning the approach to Enbarr, and I asked why you wouldn't assume Teach was included in a campaign strategy and battle tactics discussion like that, and then suddenly you're talking about how Teach wouldn't care about what happens after the war. When were we ever talking about what comes after the war at all? I was talking about the actual campaign for the war going on right now.

[woofdad]

Oh, sorry-- I guess I was thinking in terms of that being how people tend to respond? Or did back home, anyway. I suppose it is partly a matter of standards, since... generally, what I turn into on full moons would be considered a monster back home, since it's... not exactly a straightforward, uh, dog. That said though, I apologize if that does dilute the meaning as it applies to what you've encountered, that wasn't my intention at all.

No, it's alright - this is honestly a lot more comfortable than a lot of conversations I've had about this.]

[It actually takes him a moment to figure out how to go about responding to that, because... Claude is absolutely right, from everything Grant has seen, and that's a lot to process.]

Oh, yeah, believe me - how Dimitri might treat me is the last of my worries. I mean, I guess I'm a little worried about if things might get awkward about some topics, but not in any way that would really be his fault, you know?

It's almost funny, actually - there was plenty of fiction back where I'm from set in time periods that I guess sound kind of like where and when you guys are from; a lot of it had romantic elements, whether that was the focus or not, and I was kind of fascinated by that for a while? The whole thing about being courted by a handsome knight or prince or something. 'Course, I couldn't read or watch most of it without just getting punched in the face at some point by how it wasn't really FOR me. That stuff was usually made for women to project onto, not gay guys, and if a werewolf showed up at all, he was usually either some kind of wild, sexually aggressive romantic rival, or a straight-out villain. I knew that stuff wasn't meant to be realistic to begin with, but it kind of ended up feeling like even more unrealistic of a fantasy for me than the people it was actually made for.

...Sorry, there's probably a limit to how much of my baggage I should be dumping on you at once - I can stop now, but I guess I've just been thinking about that a lot and I couldn't exactly say it to anyone, since the only people around who knew about the werewolf thing until now were Chip and Dimitri himself.

[bestswordmaster]

I asked whether you and Dimitri would split Adrestia between Faerghus and the Alliance after the war, and you literally said it had been decided already where you came from. [He rolls his eyes.] Ugh, you're infuriating. There's no need to keep trying to confuse me on purpose, I'll stop asking.

[gautsome]

he was still one of yours
u wanted what was best for him
im sorry he never came around.

[fingersandteeth]

He won't hold it against me. *Jack* was a bit jealous, though, so before I took Thace to bed the first time I admitted that I *will* get these crushes on other men but it's only, you know, a sex thing and I not one I'll physically act on... and he gave me blanket permission to look as much as I wanted, which was sweet.

Although, I mean, Jack *did* care to some degree. I don't want to say he didn't love me (in his own selfish way) at all, because he *did*. It's just I was always a bit secondary to himself in his affections. And I did learn a lot about being in a relationship and weathering fights and such from him. It wasn't all bad. Far from it. And for the longest time I was deliriously happy with him.

It's just that when it did go bad for me, it went bad *quick*. It took five weeks from when I started reassessing everything I knew about him to when I finally made the decision to leave him, only for him to disappear first.

And now he's here again, only ten years younger, and he doesn't remember me at all. It's strange and disconcerting. I don't know how I feel about it. From everything I can tell, Baby Jack is a better man now than he was when I was with him... but at the same time, I was burnt so badly by how it ended, that I wouldn't want to try again, even if I hadn't gotten a new boyfriend.

(I really *shouldn't* call him Baby Jack as we're both the same age now... but ten years made a *huge* difference in him.)

tw for discussion of child abuse

[rollstoseduce]

[The reply takes a while to arrive. Jaskier doesn't appreciate the way Claude is so dismissive about the subject, as if it wasn't a big deal... it reminds him a bit of Geralt and how he instantly accepts mutants shall be hated, his "witcher logic" as Jaskier likes to call it. And making that comparison in his head is what pushes him to re-read Claude's text.

Right. This isn't Claude's fault. Like the witchers, he was taught this is what he should endure merely for being who he is. Fuck.]

Corporal punishment towards children isn't unheard of in my world. There definitely are parents that feel entitled to educate their offspring that way. It worries me, however, how easily you accept it.

There is a fine line between training and torture, my friend. You shouldn't endure such treatment because of who you are. I assure you princes also grow up with the threat of assassination over their shoulders yet they aren't tied to horses.

[rollstoseduce]

Ah, having your well-founded worries be dismissed as whining! Don't I know that anguish! My dear friend, my sympathy for your current situation surpasses any need to apologize! Besides, I shall declare these hardships worth it if it means we can meet again by the end of the week, because I predict that's our estimated time of arrival as well!

I'd love nothing more than a reunion and enjoy your company again, darling - with and without the innuendo. I'm afraid I don't understand what kind of punctuation ;) is, though.

Everything is alright at the moment, but Geralt fell sick on New Year's eve. The big oaf pushed this not-enhanced body too far. So I stayed with him to nurse him back to health, and we only left Violet when I was sure he was feeling truly better.

[vrdantwind]

Hah! Well, I assume princes usually aren't treated like that. [Except in Almyra, where Claude can confirm they definitely are.]

Anyway...I would never say other kids deserve to be treated like that, or that it's a good practice. But it's not entirely unusual where I'm from, so I don't hold it against my parents for doing something that's considered kind of normal. I especially don't hold it against them because I feel like the results justified what I went through to reach them, if that makes sense.

I don't know for sure that everything I went through to toughen me up as a kid is why I'm standing here now; maybe I would have made it anyway. But I do know that I am standing here now, and that something - or multiple somethings - worked to get me here. I could wonder if I could get the same outcome with a different recipe, but - well, why? I can't go back and have things un-happen to me, even if I could narrow down what I needed and what I didn't. So instead, I'd rather assume that everything I've been through - even getting dragged by a horse - played a part in making sure I survived the challenges a lot of those hardships were meant to prepare me for.

I didn't mean to upset you, though. Maybe we should talk about something else...?

[vrdantwind]

I'm not worried about diluting the meaning. I'm just worried about someone like you getting lumped in with some pretty hideous, mindless creatures just because of some curse. You're not a monster when you're not transformed, and I don't think you should be called one when you are, either. I bet calling yourself one isn't great for your self-esteem, either.

Huh. So you're kind of getting to live a story that you never really got to feel was meant for someone like you, huh? That's honestly great, Grant. If anybody deserves some kind of fairy tale romance, I'd say it's you and Dimitri both. So...I really hope it works out for you guys.

Also, I'm glad you're talking to me about this. That you'd trust me enough to come to me with all this stuff means a lot, and it's not like I owe you any less after you listened to me vent about Sylvain and Felix.

[Claude's heart is still aching, but...in an odd sort of way, listening to Grant talk about this is comforting. If he's losing something he wanted, then...it at least feels like he's losing it to a really good cause. To a really good person who's been denied a lot of good things he never should have been. It's no less bitter a pill to swallow, but...it's easier to resign himself when he hears just how much this means to Grant.]

[vrdantwind]

[Confuse him on purpose...sure. Claude will go with that. It's definitely not that he's having trouble remembering all the half-truths he's told, and trying to keep them straight...]

It'll all make sense eventually, don't worry.

[vrdantwind]

Well, he sort of did later on. From what I heard, he ran into you guys and Teach during a battle with the Imperial army, and got dragged into your fold after he got thrashed. So as far as I know, he's safe, and he's gotten all the comeuppance anyone could ask for. He betrayed the Alliance and the Empire, and Count Gloucester too. I'm sure he'll be fine, but he's going to have a pretty uncomfortable time of it if and when Edelgard's defeated. His father won't be happy with him, and the Alliance won't be happy with him...and if he's got any principles of his own left that aren't just handed down directly from his father, I think he'll be ashamed of himself as well. If he was going to end up opposing Edelgard anyway, he could've just stayed loyal to his country and his friends. Instead he let his father talk him into seditious stupidity based on Count Gloucester's own craven, selfish ambitions, only to fail and have nothing to show for his commitment to someone else's bad ideas.

It might not quite be the hot seat, but it'll be plenty uncomfortably warm.

[vrdantwind]

Perfect! We couldn't have planned it better if we'd tried, huh?

Also, as for ;) - if you turn your head (or the screen) sideways, it looks like kind of a smiling mouth and winking eyes, doesn't it? Apparently people here use punctuation and letters like that to make cute little faces! Sylvain taught me how, and they're fun to use.

Uh oh. Well, I'm glad he's obviously feeling better now, but I'm sorry to hear he was sick. I hope he appreciates how lucky a man he is to have such a gorgeous and compassionate nurse...and I hope he's learned his lesson about being more careful with himself.

...oh no. I hope having such a wonderful nurse doesn't backfire, and encourage him to get sick more often!

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix snorts quietly.] I'm not worried. I know that once you decide to tell us, you'll give more information than we ever wanted to know.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude is a little touched by how much Steven is trusting him with a lot of rather intimate personal details so early on in their friendship. (Claude personally wouldn't have called Steven more than a friendly acquaintance before this conversation, but surely a guy who's this willing to talk about himself and his business to Claude must be wanting to move towards proper friendship.)

It's not misplaced trust, either; Claude is unbelievably curious and nosy, but he's as good at keeping secrets as he is at prying into other people's. And he's too compassionate (and diplomatic) to use someone's personal information against them without some very significant stakes on the line. Barring Steven threatening people's lives or becoming some kind of war criminal, Claude's never going to leverage what Steven's telling him here.]

I'm glad you've got such an understanding boyfriend now. If this Jack was a narcissist like you say, I can understand him not wanting you to look at other guys...so I'm glad this Thace guy sounds more reasonable. Who can keep from looking sometimes, after all? It's how we choose to act that matters, not where we look or what we think.

There's a certain degree to which jealousy and possessiveness can be kind of hot...but it's a pretty fine line to walk. And it only really works with a partner who genuinely respects and trusts you.

But man...I can't imagine someone you were that close to vanishing and coming back younger, and not even remembering you. 'Disconcerting' is a mild word for it.

I wonder. Do you think younger Jack could be steered away from whatever unpleasant path his older self winds up on? Not for anything to do with you - you seem happy enough with Thace, so why try to fix what isn't broken? - but more as a thought exercise. Or simply lingering affection for an old flame in the form of maybe helping him be a better person. Obviously his older self never had his younger self influenced by time spent in this place, so...different experiences now might lead to a different outcome later, right?

[vrdantwind]

[Claude winks at him.] What can I say? It's the only way I know how to do things.