vrdantwind | IC Inbox

So that didn't go... great. Not that Grant expected it to go well. He said what he had to, and that was probably about the best he could expect.

He does wish he could've left less awkwardly, or gotten home before the tears started for real, or... y'know, anything to make this feel less like a teenage crush confession gone horribly wrong. But what's done is done, and now all he can do once he's home is go right to Claude's room, knock on the door, and wait, doing his best to hold back any sniffling sounds in case anyone else is around the house.

Well, for what it's worth, at least Claude doesn't hear the sniffling sounds prior to opening his door. His smile quickly turns into a look of concern when he sees who it is, and more importantly, what kind of state they're in.

"Grant? What's wrong?" And he opens his arms, inviting Grant into them immediately, before even receiving an answer.

There's no point to trying to play it cool when he's already standing in his boyfriend's doorway, visibly teary and struggling to keep those tears as quiet as possible. So he hardly hesitates before stepping in to hug Claude, ducking his head slightly for... some measure of the feeling of security he'd get from actually sticking his face in Claude's hair (or shoulder, if he could reach), without actually getting tears and snot all over him.

"So, we, uh-- might n-need to adjust how we approach handling, uh, Felix's... concerns with-- with things happening in the polycule." With that out, he takes a deep breath, shakier than he'd like. "Also I, um, told him how I felt. And then left."

He can't help a wobbly, anxious laugh. "...And the last thing I said was to-- to enjoy his chicken. So that's... that's great."

"Oh, Grant." And Claude can't help a soft, sympathetic laugh, squeezing him. Under other circumstances, he'd probably laugh a lot harder at 'I have feelings for you, enjoy your chicken', but...well, Grant's obviously fragile right now. "Can I say 'that sounds like you' without it sounding like an insult? But honestly, that's just...so charmingly awkward. You can relax about the awkward part, though; that won't bother Felix any."

He rubs Grant's back. "You must be a nervous wreck after that, huh? C'mon in, we can curl up on the bed and talk. There's probably no point in picking apart your confession, and until you get an answer from Felix it's probably best you don't dwell on that anyway or you'll just make yourself an anxious mess, but...it sounds like we've conveniently got something distracting to discuss, huh? I don't know what you mean about Felix's concerns about the polycule, but it sounds important."

Grant snorts quietly. "You can, but probably only because it's you. I... I just hope you're right about it not bothering Felix."

...Speaking of which. He nods, straightening up and trying to get his sniffling under control, and will readily follow Claude to go lie down. "Um... remember when we were talking about Zuke, and potentially starting relationships with him, and Felix was... not sure about it?"

"As easily bothered as Felix can be sometimes, I think I can safely say that being told to enjoy his food is not even gonna ping his pokéradar." Claude chuckles. "And he'll be way too preoccupied with the actually important stuff you said to pay any attention to something harmlessly, meaninglessly awkward."

Claude settles himself on the bed, reaching out an arm to invite Grant to stretch out next to (or, more likely, around) him. "And yeah, I remember that. Is it still bothering him? I thought that now that Sylvain's back, he'd be feeling a lot less upset and a lot more secure..."

Grant makes a quiet, pained noise in the back of his throat. He is not convinced, Claude. ...And even if Felix doesn't pay it any mind, Grant will remember that forever.

He does, indeed, curl around Claude, giving an awkward sort of half-shrug. "Mm. I think he's doing better, but... he feels like, uh, what we're doing now isn't what we'd initially agreed on, and..." He trails off for a moment before adding, "I think... assuming we know what's bothering him, and trying to reassure him based on that, isn't... it's creating some problems. He just... ended up feeling like he hadn't really been heard, but was expected to change his mind."

Claude frowns a little. "Of course it's not what we initially agreed on. The situation's changed since. But...I mean, we consulted with him every step of the way, didn't we? He hasn't hard rejected any of the developments since, so it's not like he hasn't agreed to the situation as it is now. In fact, a few times he's been the one encouraging Dimitri to add new people to the arrangement." He runs a hand through his hair. "So...is he regretting some of the things he agreed to? Are you saying he feels like we pressured him into agreeing to things he wasn't actually okay with?"

He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself before trying to explain. "I think he has the impression that, uh... keeping him up to date is just a formality, essentially, and that... his eventual agreement was seen as a foregone conclusion. It seems like he doesn't feel like he truly has a say in what goes on."

Claude pauses, thinking. "This is about Zuke, isn't it?" he says after a moment. "About our giving him time to adjust to the idea. He thought that was us telling him he had to find a way to become okay with it in that timeframe, not that we thought he needed to regain some emotional stability after Sylvain's disappearance. I did think that was a large part - maybe the whole part - of why he was resisting the idea, and that he'd be less opposed to it when his emotional wounds weren't so fresh and he could stand the thought of things changing again, but that's not the same as me - or any of us - not caring if he had serious objections, or trying to enforce him changing his mind."

Grant nods against Claude's shoulder, the movement slowed by exhaustion. "Mm-hm. I guess there was more to it than that. But we didn't ask."

Claude sighs. "No, we didn't. But Felix doesn't make himself easy to ask things like that. Half the time he doesn't know for himself how he's feeling exactly, or how to explain it, and we have to guess or work it out for ourselves anyway. And pretty much all the time, he doesn't want to talk about it at all. And he was pricklier than ever after Sylvain left. I guess I can't really argue we did the right thing when it backfired, obviously...but we definitely did the thing that made the most sense. The thing we thought would upset Felix the least. Trying to figure out how he felt for ourselves, without having to hassle him for more information in talks he didn't want to have, and trying to accommodate for that."

He combs fingers through Grant's hair. "Do you ever sometimes feel like every possible option with Felix is wrong somehow?"

IC Inbox

immediately after The Felix Incident

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