PLEASE tell me it's occurred to you that he might be scared of the exact same thing you are, Felix? Of ruining things with his best friend?
He had the chance to kiss you, but at the risk of you thinking it was just a joke that meant nothing when it'd probably mean the world to him. Or making you angry and disgusted with him. Or any number of other nightmare scenarios I'm sure were running through his head while he tried to figure out what his best move was. Realizing he'd trapped himself in a really bad situation where things could go wrong no matter what he did - and then they did, for the record - doesn't mean that kissing you was the thing making him sick.
He wasn't risking anything he minded losing when he kissed anyone else. But you and Dimitri tripped him up because you two are a lot more important to him than some silly joke or a casual kiss.
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He had the chance to kiss you, but at the risk of you thinking it was just a joke that meant nothing when it'd probably mean the world to him. Or making you angry and disgusted with him. Or any number of other nightmare scenarios I'm sure were running through his head while he tried to figure out what his best move was. Realizing he'd trapped himself in a really bad situation where things could go wrong no matter what he did - and then they did, for the record - doesn't mean that kissing you was the thing making him sick.
He wasn't risking anything he minded losing when he kissed anyone else. But you and Dimitri tripped him up because you two are a lot more important to him than some silly joke or a casual kiss.