I'm sure she thought your behavior was inappropriate for a leader. I always thought you seemed irresponsible back then, too, but you weren't my leader, so I didn't care. I suppose I wouldn't be that surprised if she got fed up with her inability to change Sylvain and took it out on you because taking it out on him accomplished nothing.
[Felix's brow furrows.] She is my friend. But she's been trying to live someone else's life ever since my brother died. Idolizing the idea of self-sacrifice to justify his death as anything but tragic. Just like everyone else. The only 'accomplishment' of his they care about is the final one. Ingrid always thought she could fill the hole he left in our lives by following in his footsteps and trying to get all of us to do the same. It's appalling.
So whether she was berating you for not being the leader she thought you should have been or the version of Sylvain she wanted him to be, or just not living up to some ideal she decided you should, I don't know. You wouldn't be the first one she used as a stand-in for someone else.
[Some part of Felix feels like he's said far too much, but somehow Claude makes it seem easy to just...talk. Much easier than usual.]
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Date: 2020-12-25 01:23 pm (UTC)[Felix's brow furrows.] She is my friend. But she's been trying to live someone else's life ever since my brother died. Idolizing the idea of self-sacrifice to justify his death as anything but tragic. Just like everyone else. The only 'accomplishment' of his they care about is the final one. Ingrid always thought she could fill the hole he left in our lives by following in his footsteps and trying to get all of us to do the same. It's appalling.
So whether she was berating you for not being the leader she thought you should have been or the version of Sylvain she wanted him to be, or just not living up to some ideal she decided you should, I don't know. You wouldn't be the first one she used as a stand-in for someone else.
[Some part of Felix feels like he's said far too much, but somehow Claude makes it seem easy to just...talk. Much easier than usual.]