[Hilariously, it is Grant, but for completely different reasons than Steven thinks.]
Isn't it also possible you're projecting what you expect them to expect of you onto them? I mean, just as a possibility? Maybe they don't actually expect you to act like your old self, but part of you thinks they do, and you respond to that. Or maybe you're worried that your relationships with them are contingent on you being like the old you, so you try to mimic your old self on a subconscious level. That certainly wouldn't be surprising. You're very aware of how you've changed to them, and how they haven't changed to you. There might be some subconscious effort you're making to go "see, I'm still the same me" to them, even though in many ways you're not. But if those relationships are worth preserving to you, then you've definitely got a motive to try and preserve them, and if you think that requires being the person you used to be to some degree, well...
Mind you, I'm just theorizing. It could also be them expecting something different from you, too. But they're not here, and I don't even know who we're talking about, so I can't even begin to hazard a guess what they think or expect. All I can really analyze with even the faintest possibility of accuracy here is you, and what you might be thinking and doing. And a lot of that is just projecting anyway, so take it for whatever it's worth. Which could be nothing!
Still...the whole Tyler thing you mention definitely seems to lend some weight to the possibilities I'm suggesting. That maybe it's your idea of what other people expect from you, and your worry about how much change the people who used to know you perceive in you - and how that will affect your relationships with them - that's influencing your behavior, rather than it necessarily being what they want or expect.
The upside to all this is that if it's you assuming what people expect, and how they might react to your meeting - or not meeting - their expectations, then there's a chance that your assumptions might be wrong.
no subject
Isn't it also possible you're projecting what you expect them to expect of you onto them? I mean, just as a possibility? Maybe they don't actually expect you to act like your old self, but part of you thinks they do, and you respond to that. Or maybe you're worried that your relationships with them are contingent on you being like the old you, so you try to mimic your old self on a subconscious level. That certainly wouldn't be surprising. You're very aware of how you've changed to them, and how they haven't changed to you. There might be some subconscious effort you're making to go "see, I'm still the same me" to them, even though in many ways you're not. But if those relationships are worth preserving to you, then you've definitely got a motive to try and preserve them, and if you think that requires being the person you used to be to some degree, well...
Mind you, I'm just theorizing. It could also be them expecting something different from you, too. But they're not here, and I don't even know who we're talking about, so I can't even begin to hazard a guess what they think or expect. All I can really analyze with even the faintest possibility of accuracy here is you, and what you might be thinking and doing. And a lot of that is just projecting anyway, so take it for whatever it's worth. Which could be nothing!
Still...the whole Tyler thing you mention definitely seems to lend some weight to the possibilities I'm suggesting. That maybe it's your idea of what other people expect from you, and your worry about how much change the people who used to know you perceive in you - and how that will affect your relationships with them - that's influencing your behavior, rather than it necessarily being what they want or expect.
The upside to all this is that if it's you assuming what people expect, and how they might react to your meeting - or not meeting - their expectations, then there's a chance that your assumptions might be wrong.