*Oh*. You're right, we were talking at cross-purposes. Acknowledging that he wasn't in his right mind when he made those decisions isn't a bad thing to do, no. It won't change the fact that he did them, but it'll help him remember that he won't necessarily be liable to repeat them without those particular traumatic circumstances.
You're also right that everything with Jack does loom large in my mind, which I'm still a bit frustrated about. For me, it's been six, nearly seven years, but as soon as I woke up on Armin's houseboat in this world again, it was almost as if nothing had changed but me. I can only credit it to getting my memories of this world back--and of course, the entire mess with Jack had been entirely on my mind when I fell asleep on Armin's houseboat.
Just-- being messed up about Jack was my past self's problem. Why is it still mine? Is it just that I'm angry at myself for putting in more effort than he ever did? Is it that I'm still furious at how even at my lowest point, hurting someone I loved would be break me and he did it without even realizing it was *wrong*? I remember being terrified of him before I went home, because if he could (and would and did) hurt people he loved for power, then *I* certainly wasn't safe--the only reason I wasn't terrified when I woke up was that I'd had all those years of sharpening my skills that I was reasonably sure that I could easily defend myself from him, at least on a physical basis. Maybe I just still feel like I was played for a sucker in every aspect of our relationship.
In a way, I got out of a very messy break-up by him disappearing while I was asleep. In another way, I never got the closure I needed, even if it would have come with our hands around each other's throats.
(I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for this to turn into another round of me ranting about my ex- that I've had trouble getting over. That this happens with *all* my significant exes makes it worse, not better.)
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You're also right that everything with Jack does loom large in my mind, which I'm still a bit frustrated about. For me, it's been six, nearly seven years, but as soon as I woke up on Armin's houseboat in this world again, it was almost as if nothing had changed but me. I can only credit it to getting my memories of this world back--and of course, the entire mess with Jack had been entirely on my mind when I fell asleep on Armin's houseboat.
Just-- being messed up about Jack was my past self's problem. Why is it still mine? Is it just that I'm angry at myself for putting in more effort than he ever did? Is it that I'm still furious at how even at my lowest point, hurting someone I loved would be break me and he did it without even realizing it was *wrong*? I remember being terrified of him before I went home, because if he could (and would and did) hurt people he loved for power, then *I* certainly wasn't safe--the only reason I wasn't terrified when I woke up was that I'd had all those years of sharpening my skills that I was reasonably sure that I could easily defend myself from him, at least on a physical basis. Maybe I just still feel like I was played for a sucker in every aspect of our relationship.
In a way, I got out of a very messy break-up by him disappearing while I was asleep. In another way, I never got the closure I needed, even if it would have come with our hands around each other's throats.
(I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for this to turn into another round of me ranting about my ex- that I've had trouble getting over. That this happens with *all* my significant exes makes it worse, not better.)