"I didn't mean I was failing to take the lesson to heart." Claude cocks an eyebrow at him. "I meant...I feel like the failure I illustrated in that story. The person who's fallen down and can't help anyone else. Only I don't think I was trying to stand on my own that much...I was doing fine until now. I didn't even feel all that stressed until Dedue vanished and we had to help Dimitri through that, but it wasn't anything I couldn't have handled just fine. No more stressful than other things I've helped people through without a problem. So it feels like I've collapsed without doing anything that would've brought it on...and it's not like I love Sylvain any more than you or Dimitri do. So why am I the only one who can't hold it together now?"
He closes his eyes again when Felix rests their heads together. "No...I know you want to be with Sylvain. And he should have someone with him, even if there's no chance he's going to wake up this soon. I don't like the thought of just...leaving him alone. I'll come with you."
He's still not sure he'll be able to keep it together, seeing the upsetting unresponsiveness of Sylvain up close again. It's impossible not to desperately miss him when he's both right there and a million miles away. But...things being better between him and Felix makes Claude feel a little more up to trying. And whether or not he can...realizing how much it means to him for someone to be with Sylvain, keeping him company, feels like it's rearranged his priorities a little. That's more important to him than how he personally feels, or even what anyone in Almyra thinks of him. He wouldn't let any Almyran's opinion - or the opinions of everyone in Almyra - dictate what he did or how he treated Sylvain while the man was conscious; why should now be different?
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Date: 2021-02-23 07:59 am (UTC)He closes his eyes again when Felix rests their heads together. "No...I know you want to be with Sylvain. And he should have someone with him, even if there's no chance he's going to wake up this soon. I don't like the thought of just...leaving him alone. I'll come with you."
He's still not sure he'll be able to keep it together, seeing the upsetting unresponsiveness of Sylvain up close again. It's impossible not to desperately miss him when he's both right there and a million miles away. But...things being better between him and Felix makes Claude feel a little more up to trying. And whether or not he can...realizing how much it means to him for someone to be with Sylvain, keeping him company, feels like it's rearranged his priorities a little. That's more important to him than how he personally feels, or even what anyone in Almyra thinks of him. He wouldn't let any Almyran's opinion - or the opinions of everyone in Almyra - dictate what he did or how he treated Sylvain while the man was conscious; why should now be different?