Under the circumstances, I think I can safely call you biased.
I don't know if I'd call myself good at feelings stuff, so much as I'd say I'm good at getting to the core of things. That can be really helpful in general, including with 'feelings stuff'. There can be a lot of pain, anger, pride, self-loathing, and who knows what else in the way of seeing things clearly. But if you can look at what's actually happening, and consider why it might be happening from an objective angle...it cuts through an amazing amount of emotional fog so you can get a clear picture.
We're not in the academy now, though. And the funny thing is, I think I'm more distrusted now by people who I've never given a real reason to distrust me than anything. I wouldn't mind if people distrusted me after I'd actually double-crossed them or something.
Also, planning what to say is easy. You're not limited to just letting the conversation go in whatever direction it cares to. You can decide "I want to make sure to say these things to him", make a list or a script or whatever, and then go "hey, Sylvain, I wanted to say some things". And then you say them. Simple. Conversations don't have to just be call and response; you can direct them if you've got a plan.
You can go 'okay, I want to make sure to apologize for kissing Claude because I wanted to hurt him, to tell him I was mad that he seemed like he didn't want to kiss me, and to tell him not to just run off without talking to me if things get bad', and then you figure out what words you'd use to say those things.
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Date: 2020-12-14 11:14 am (UTC)I don't know if I'd call myself good at feelings stuff, so much as I'd say I'm good at getting to the core of things. That can be really helpful in general, including with 'feelings stuff'. There can be a lot of pain, anger, pride, self-loathing, and who knows what else in the way of seeing things clearly. But if you can look at what's actually happening, and consider why it might be happening from an objective angle...it cuts through an amazing amount of emotional fog so you can get a clear picture.
We're not in the academy now, though. And the funny thing is, I think I'm more distrusted now by people who I've never given a real reason to distrust me than anything. I wouldn't mind if people distrusted me after I'd actually double-crossed them or something.
Also, planning what to say is easy. You're not limited to just letting the conversation go in whatever direction it cares to. You can decide "I want to make sure to say these things to him", make a list or a script or whatever, and then go "hey, Sylvain, I wanted to say some things". And then you say them. Simple. Conversations don't have to just be call and response; you can direct them if you've got a plan.
You can go 'okay, I want to make sure to apologize for kissing Claude because I wanted to hurt him, to tell him I was mad that he seemed like he didn't want to kiss me, and to tell him not to just run off without talking to me if things get bad', and then you figure out what words you'd use to say those things.