... I meant by sparring, not by sex. Not that sparring doesn't often lead to sex with us, but I'd rather not go to bed with him angry if possible, even if it's with someone else. It feels like setting a bad precedent.
As far as Emet and Hythlo's story... there's a lot I'm actually *not* telling you? I feel like if they knew I've told you what I have, they'd roll their eyes and maybe make a comment about me being a gossip... but honestly, Hythlodaeus is just as bad. He's the reason I know a lot of this.
As far as Dimitri goes, trying to convince him that the self that did horrific acts and his other self are two different people is a *terrible* idea. I'm sorry, Claude, but it is. And yes, I *know* you acknowledge it is, but I need to stress how bad it really is. I understand the temptation to, because it's hard knowing that the people you love (in whatever fashion) are capable of such acts, but sometimes people *are*. And trying to make him think of his prior self as a different man altogether is just asking for him to dissociate. It'll foster a sense of unreality that will *mess him up*. Trust me on this.
I get that it hurts for you to hear him call himself a monster. But while it's not *healthy* that he is, it does show that he understands what he did was awful and he grieves doing it. And that's good for *him*. It's better he knows than he thinks everything awful thing he did was perfectly fine, because he's the hero. That's how you get people like Handsome Jack.
As someone who's felt like a monster at various points in his life, what helped me was to say to myself something like, "Okay, I'm a monster, but am I a monster that preys upon people or a monster that protects them? How can I be a monster that can do good? Or at least bad things with good outcomes?" I don't know if that'll help Dimitri, but it might. It'll focus him on the future, at least, and not the past he can't change.
(That said, I don't mind the digression at all. And I do get the need for *you* to separate them in your mind.)
Dirk is worth knowing even though he's a pain in the ass, because... well, for one thing, you'll have some interesting as hell conversations. He's very knowledgeable as well as being very opinionated--and while his opinions can be stupid, he's usually got the facts straight. Sometimes he's very funny (and sometimes he's really *not*.) And he's actually quite capable of being kind, despite everything. He'll obscure it in bullshit, of course, but that's just his way. He's usually willing to help people if they ask him to--and when he does, he's very capable at it. So yeah. He's an asshole, but the kind that's worth it.
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As far as Emet and Hythlo's story... there's a lot I'm actually *not* telling you? I feel like if they knew I've told you what I have, they'd roll their eyes and maybe make a comment about me being a gossip... but honestly, Hythlodaeus is just as bad. He's the reason I know a lot of this.
As far as Dimitri goes, trying to convince him that the self that did horrific acts and his other self are two different people is a *terrible* idea. I'm sorry, Claude, but it is. And yes, I *know* you acknowledge it is, but I need to stress how bad it really is. I understand the temptation to, because it's hard knowing that the people you love (in whatever fashion) are capable of such acts, but sometimes people *are*. And trying to make him think of his prior self as a different man altogether is just asking for him to dissociate. It'll foster a sense of unreality that will *mess him up*. Trust me on this.
I get that it hurts for you to hear him call himself a monster. But while it's not *healthy* that he is, it does show that he understands what he did was awful and he grieves doing it. And that's good for *him*. It's better he knows than he thinks everything awful thing he did was perfectly fine, because he's the hero. That's how you get people like Handsome Jack.
As someone who's felt like a monster at various points in his life, what helped me was to say to myself something like, "Okay, I'm a monster, but am I a monster that preys upon people or a monster that protects them? How can I be a monster that can do good? Or at least bad things with good outcomes?" I don't know if that'll help Dimitri, but it might. It'll focus him on the future, at least, and not the past he can't change.
(That said, I don't mind the digression at all. And I do get the need for *you* to separate them in your mind.)
Dirk is worth knowing even though he's a pain in the ass, because... well, for one thing, you'll have some interesting as hell conversations. He's very knowledgeable as well as being very opinionated--and while his opinions can be stupid, he's usually got the facts straight. Sometimes he's very funny (and sometimes he's really *not*.) And he's actually quite capable of being kind, despite everything. He'll obscure it in bullshit, of course, but that's just his way. He's usually willing to help people if they ask him to--and when he does, he's very capable at it. So yeah. He's an asshole, but the kind that's worth it.