Sunshine. Seriously? You're looking for excuses to be insecure now. That's just how Dimitri talks. He's not going to say 'hey, sexy' like Sylvain - you know that, right? You're not so used to Sylvain that you've forgotten Dimitri uses much more formal language and isn't going to be shamelessly direct no matter if he's thinking the same kinds of things or not, right?
You are beautiful. And handsome, and sexy, and gorgeous, and a bunch of other words that mean 'physically attractive'. Only some of those are ones Dimitri is likely to use, though. You're reading way too much into this because you're working yourself up worrying. Take some deep breaths, okay? I think maybe you're as nervous as he is, and this is just your weird way of showing it.
I kind of doubt that he said it was your fault you kept your distance from him. Both because I really doubt he'd place the blame on you, and because I know he blames himself. So I feel like what he actually said is coming through a filter of bias from you, and I can't quite trust your report to be accurate here. So I'm not going to comment on that. Instead...you know telling Dimitri something will be fine doesn't mean he can just instantly relax, right? Anxiety isn't always easy to stamp out. I didn't really expect any of you to treat me badly when I told you I was Almyran, but even knowing that, I was a mess when the time came. Sylvain is still anxious during blizzards even though Miklan's long dead and he knows it, and we can't just make that go away with words.
Obviously, that doesn't mean we can't make those things better, or work through them despite the anxiety. I'm just saying that you shouldn't think "well, I told him it was fine so that should fix it". It's rarely that simple. You may need to work with him, reassure him, show him it's fine as well as tell him to help him through it...or maybe he just needs time to work through it himself. Or both. But he may still be going through it, with verbal reassurance only going so far.
I will say, if he was just saying to go slow and then invited himself back to your room, he probably meant it innocently even if it wound up accidentally suggestive. But that doesn't mean you can't...gently encourage things in a certain direction. Try not to push him too hard - I know you're pretty aggressive about things normally, but you may need to try for a lighter hand if he's already uncertain and awkward. That's going to mean patience, which I know isn't your strongest suit, but I also know that you'd do just about anything for Dimitri. So consider how to make him feel comfortable and self-assured enough that he'd be willing to push the boundaries of how far and how fast he thinks he should be taking things with you. If he's feeling confident, and you're encouraging him, and he's all wrapped up in how attractive you are...he'll be a lot more willing to experiment with what is and isn't okay to try.
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Date: 2021-02-13 07:51 pm (UTC)You are beautiful. And handsome, and sexy, and gorgeous, and a bunch of other words that mean 'physically attractive'. Only some of those are ones Dimitri is likely to use, though. You're reading way too much into this because you're working yourself up worrying. Take some deep breaths, okay? I think maybe you're as nervous as he is, and this is just your weird way of showing it.
I kind of doubt that he said it was your fault you kept your distance from him. Both because I really doubt he'd place the blame on you, and because I know he blames himself. So I feel like what he actually said is coming through a filter of bias from you, and I can't quite trust your report to be accurate here. So I'm not going to comment on that. Instead...you know telling Dimitri something will be fine doesn't mean he can just instantly relax, right? Anxiety isn't always easy to stamp out. I didn't really expect any of you to treat me badly when I told you I was Almyran, but even knowing that, I was a mess when the time came. Sylvain is still anxious during blizzards even though Miklan's long dead and he knows it, and we can't just make that go away with words.
Obviously, that doesn't mean we can't make those things better, or work through them despite the anxiety. I'm just saying that you shouldn't think "well, I told him it was fine so that should fix it". It's rarely that simple. You may need to work with him, reassure him, show him it's fine as well as tell him to help him through it...or maybe he just needs time to work through it himself. Or both. But he may still be going through it, with verbal reassurance only going so far.
I will say, if he was just saying to go slow and then invited himself back to your room, he probably meant it innocently even if it wound up accidentally suggestive. But that doesn't mean you can't...gently encourage things in a certain direction. Try not to push him too hard - I know you're pretty aggressive about things normally, but you may need to try for a lighter hand if he's already uncertain and awkward. That's going to mean patience, which I know isn't your strongest suit, but I also know that you'd do just about anything for Dimitri. So consider how to make him feel comfortable and self-assured enough that he'd be willing to push the boundaries of how far and how fast he thinks he should be taking things with you. If he's feeling confident, and you're encouraging him, and he's all wrapped up in how attractive you are...he'll be a lot more willing to experiment with what is and isn't okay to try.