He won't hold it against me. *Jack* was a bit jealous, though, so before I took Thace to bed the first time I admitted that I *will* get these crushes on other men but it's only, you know, a sex thing and I not one I'll physically act on... and he gave me blanket permission to look as much as I wanted, which was sweet.
Although, I mean, Jack *did* care to some degree. I don't want to say he didn't love me (in his own selfish way) at all, because he *did*. It's just I was always a bit secondary to himself in his affections. And I did learn a lot about being in a relationship and weathering fights and such from him. It wasn't all bad. Far from it. And for the longest time I was deliriously happy with him.
It's just that when it did go bad for me, it went bad *quick*. It took five weeks from when I started reassessing everything I knew about him to when I finally made the decision to leave him, only for him to disappear first.
And now he's here again, only ten years younger, and he doesn't remember me at all. It's strange and disconcerting. I don't know how I feel about it. From everything I can tell, Baby Jack is a better man now than he was when I was with him... but at the same time, I was burnt so badly by how it ended, that I wouldn't want to try again, even if I hadn't gotten a new boyfriend.
(I really *shouldn't* call him Baby Jack as we're both the same age now... but ten years made a *huge* difference in him.)
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Although, I mean, Jack *did* care to some degree. I don't want to say he didn't love me (in his own selfish way) at all, because he *did*. It's just I was always a bit secondary to himself in his affections. And I did learn a lot about being in a relationship and weathering fights and such from him. It wasn't all bad. Far from it. And for the longest time I was deliriously happy with him.
It's just that when it did go bad for me, it went bad *quick*. It took five weeks from when I started reassessing everything I knew about him to when I finally made the decision to leave him, only for him to disappear first.
And now he's here again, only ten years younger, and he doesn't remember me at all. It's strange and disconcerting. I don't know how I feel about it. From everything I can tell, Baby Jack is a better man now than he was when I was with him... but at the same time, I was burnt so badly by how it ended, that I wouldn't want to try again, even if I hadn't gotten a new boyfriend.
(I really *shouldn't* call him Baby Jack as we're both the same age now... but ten years made a *huge* difference in him.)