IC Inbox

[vrdantwind]

"Hey, this is Claude! Pretty sure I'm doing this correctly. You can leave me a message here, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Talk to you soon~."

Comments

[vrdantwind]

[Claude blinks.] Wait, you actually know exactly why? I assumed it was something to be figured out.

[bestswordmaster]

Of course I know why. [Felix smirks.] You assume everything is something to be figured out.

[bestswordmaster]

I thought about that.
I don't want him to think I'm doing it because of any tradition.
or because he's my king.
or some lofty sense of loyalty.
those are worse than meaningless reasons.
I'm doing it because
I want to.
and for no other reason.

[vrdantwind]

I mean, if you knew why already, I thought maybe you would've already addressed it. Besides, he's a guy who'd rather not kiss the guy he's into, and then go sulk when his object of interest kisses another guy, than just tell people how he feels. I didn't expect the answer to be obvious.

[bestswordmaster]

It's not obvious. But he wasn't always like that. I was there for...everything.

[He frowns with a hint of impatience, though not with Claude.] And I have addressed it.

[vrdantwind]

So...tell him that when you present the gift? I mean, if you're willing to tell people like me that you're his shield, the fact that you consider yourself his shield is something that he's going to pick up on sooner or later anyway. The only way for him to not be uncertain what your reasons are for that is if he knows what your reasons are, because you told him.

So give him something shield-related, and tell him it's not about the Shield of Faerghus, or tradition, or his being king. It's just about you wanting to protect someone who means a lot to you. Tell him you'd be his shield even if he wasn't a king.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude cocks an eyebrow at him.] Oh, sorry, did you want me to specify "successfully addressed it"? I was trying to be tactful. That's a thing people do sometimes.

Well, if you won't tell me why because it's too personal...can you at least tell me when it started? [And then, Claude thinks, maybe he can figure it out on his own. Whether or not that's still considered a breach of Sylvain's privacy...ehhhh, he'll leave that question to the philosophers.]

[bestswordmaster]

you make everything sound easier than it is.
it's
a complicated subject.
I'm not good with those.
besides he might cry.
I don't know what to do when he blubbers like that.

[bestswordmaster]

Tact is for cowards.

[He narrows his eyes at Claude.] Why do you want to know so badly?

[vrdantwind]

Of course it's complicated. That's why you need to explain it, isn't it? But the way I see it, you either need to be willing to let him misinterpret what your being his shield means, or you need to accept having to explain it. Those are really your only two options, no matter what gift you give him.

I still think a shield from you would be the best meaningful-type gift, though, so I think I'll just leave you with that one idea. If you don't like it, you'll have to supply your own from here.

Also, if he cries, you have my permission to blame it all on me and tell him to go sob in my direction. Or you could just awkwardly pat his shoulder like a big boy who doesn't flinch when something gets awkward or challenging...but I mean, I can totally handle it for you, if you can't.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude raises an eyebrow.] I'm sorry, did you want me to help you figure out how to make Sylvain stop being unhappy and also acting fake in a way that you hate? Do you think I can do that without knowing anything about why he acts that way? My insights about people and how to best deal with them come from understanding them, Felix. If I can't understand what Sylvain's doing or why, I'm not going to be able to help you with him.

[bestswordmaster]

I already told you I had the thought first.
why wouldn't I like it?
you're infuriating.
you make light of everything.
and it's all nothing but insults that you're trying to hide with jokes.
I don't know why I'm asking you to begin with.
I'll handle dimitri myself.

[vrdantwind]

Well, I sort of assumed you didn't like the idea you came up with, since you wouldn't have needed to ask me for more ideas if you already knew what to get him.

But if you're all set, let me know how it goes!

[bestswordmaster]

I didn't-- You asked me why things were different here and I told you. That wasn't an invitation to poke your nose into everything. Especially since the second I ask you a personal question, you clam up and get cagey.

[vrdantwind]

Hey, it's like I already told you - I may not technically have a reason to keep secrets for myself anymore, but without knowing how telling you guys things here may affect things back home, I've gotta be circumspect anyway. [Claude shrugs, with one of his more enigmatic smiles.] But it's also pretty different. You are actively seeking my advice at this point, right? Asking questions that could help me give you better advice is a lot different from just asking a guy about his past unprompted because you want to know. I have a pretty practical reason for inquiring.

[Not that he needs a practical reason to pry into other people's business, ever. He just happens to have one right now.]

[bestswordmaster]

[Felix scowls.] Excuses. And you're doing that obnoxious coy thing again. I hate it almost as much as I hate fake Sylvain. I'm not telling you.

[bestswordmaster]

[It takes a while for Felix to respond this time, but eventually:]

that's not what I said.
I had misgivings.
now I don't.
I'm having a cloak brooch made.
shaped like aegis.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude shrugs.] Well, you don't have to tell me, but I can't really help you without anything to go off of, either.

And I'm not being coy, I think. Not like "oh, I've got a secret and you should try to find out what it is". I'm just trying to be as honest as the circumstances allow, y'know? Which admittedly isn't very. But it's hard to hide the fact that I'm dodging questions about myself. So I can at least acknowledge yeah, I can't tell you anything, and maybe even try to explain why...and why it's not necessarily something I want to do. That's all. Sometimes it seems like people think I keep secrets just because I like to annoy people.

[A beat.]

I mean, I do, but that's usually unrelated.

[vrdantwind]

You know, that's actually a great idea! I hadn't thought of something to hold his cloak, but he definitely would use something like that, wouldn't he?Sentimental and practical. Good thinking!

[bestswordmaster]

You're right. I don't have to tell you.

[Felix rolls his eyes.] I know you like it, I can tell by that irritating mysterious look you get on your face. I don't actually care about your secrets, but one-sided meddling is enough to drive anybody crazy.

And now I'm tired of talking about how you can't talk about things.

[vrdantwind]

[Claude laughs.] Oh, is that why you think I like it? That's not - [He pauses, smile vanishing into a look of realization.] You know, that's why you don't like it, isn't it? The truth is, I'm not actually happy about it. I just smile because, you know, what's the point of brooding over a distasteful necessity you have to live with? It's better to just smile and not let it get you down. Lingering over something being unpleasant, letting it dictate your mood - I've never heard of that making anything more enjoyable. Treating it like a game, acting like it's no big deal - it doesn't exactly lighten the load, but I get to be in a better mood about it.

But that's not too far off from Sylvain being fake, is it? And you hate that. So of course me acting in a way that doesn't necessarily reflect how I feel would rub you the wrong way.

[bestswordmaster]

...hmph. You spare nothing and no one your scrutiny. [A pause.] But you do remind me of Sylvain sometimes, and not just because you make inappropriate jokes that aren't funny. I don't see what good it does to pretend. Maybe it makes you feel better, but nobody else.

[bestswordmaster]

[The next message comes after even more time has passed.]

sylvain kissed me.

[That's...that's it. That's the whole message.]

[vrdantwind]

Nope. Myself included. [Claude smiles slightly at him.]

Oh, so you think other people would feel better if I slumped around being miserable all the time, moaning about the secrets I can't share with them? I think being as cheerful as I can and not dwelling on it is a service to the people around me, frankly. At the worst, it doesn't change anything, but at best, it makes me way better company and less of a wet blanket over problems no one can do anything about.

[vrdantwind]

See? Did I know what I was talking about or what?

Congratulations. I hope the wait was well worth it.