vrdantwind | IC Inbox

it pains me to say it but yes.
your advice was helpful.
so thanks.
yes he's not leaving.
he really is dense though.
dimitri had to practically beat the point into him.

Uh huh.

So, who's the smartest person you knooow?

[One can practically hear the singsong, leading tone of his voice through text.]

[Felix rolls his eyes, but his lips quirk into an amused smirk.]

sylvain.
but I suppose you've earned some credit.
you're the third smartest person I know.

[He deliberately doesn't elaborate on who the second is--he figures Claude's nosiness won't let him not ask.]

First of all, you just admitted I was right about everything and that Sylvain managed to be the dumbest he could be, so in conclusion: you're shamelessly biased against me and also perhaps facts themselves. Maybe you and Dimitri should start a reality-denial club.

Second, go on and tell me who you consider the second smartest. I know you're waiting for me to ask.

don't compare me to dimitri.
I'm not biased against you.
I'm biased in favor of sylvain.
there's a difference.
the second smartest is annette.

Hmm...you know what? For Annette, I'll allow it. I mean, I've tried to write songs as good as hers and they just didn't have that spark, so how can I claim to have passed her?

I'm still way smarter than Sylvain, though. But I guess there's no arguing with a fool in love...so I'll let your bias slide.

YOU'VE heard annette sing?
obviously you can't write songs like hers.
hers are perfect.
the food song is the best one.
since you acknowledge her superiority
I'll overlook the ridiculous thing you just wrote.

The pretending can serve its own purpose. Some of it's psychological - if you tell people, including yourself, that something is going to happen, you'd be surprised at how it subtly shifts things in favor of it happening. If you make people believe, on some level, that there's going to be a flood, then people will buy boats. It's not a great metaphor, but you get what I mean - influencing people's thinking on a subtle level can have effects that add up cumulatively. And if you can predict those potential effects, you can even turn them more actively in your favor, which also adds to your chances.

It's also good for you on a personal level. The confidence you get from believing a plan is going to work, from not even entertaining the possibility of failure, can help you execute the steps to make it happen better. And when you're confident, the people around you are more confident, too. It all adds up. Every little domino falling, every odd you can stack in your favor, every last ounce of advantage you can squeak out - it's all precious. And when you succeed, maybe you'll never even know by just how narrow a margin it was...but that's why you can't pass up on anything that'll push you that much further. It might be the one fraction of difference between success and failure.

[He grins at Felix.] Hey, just because I thought it over before giving you a nickname doesn't mean it's not entirely for its own sake that I did. It doesn't serve any real purpose. I didn't need something else to call you. I just wanted to. [He winks.] And you know, me being able to do something just because I want to and it makes me happy, no other reason...that's pretty rare. Take it for the honor it is, sunshine.

Oh, yeah, she's incredible! Honestly, I got her creepity-creep song stuck in my head for weeks. No need for me to be surprised you've heard her, I guess, since she was in your house.

I really don't know if I could pick a favorite song of hers...it's like choosing your favorite child. They're all perfect in their own ways, you know?

Also, harsh! I mean, I know I'm nowhere near her level and I already admitted it, but at least I know what my songs were like! Well, song. I only ever really got as far as finishing one. The others were all still on the drawing board, as it were. Or in the garbage bin.

[It's pretty surprising to Felix that Claude's babbling is interesting enough that he doesn't end up tuning him out.]

Some of that sounds like nonsense. But taking every advantage you can get and doing anything you can to win, that much I agree with. Skill is important, but what you said earlier about removing your enemy's options--that's good advice. As long as it doesn't harm any innocent people in the process.

[He makes a face at hearing the nickname again, but doesn't protest.] Why does that make you happy? You're so strange.

she didn't let most of the house hear her either.
the first time I found her singing she called me evil and ran away.
I still don't get it.
creepity-creep is good but situational.
the food song is universally applicable.
why were you trying to write a song?
what kind of song is it?

All of my advice is good advice. [Claude grins.] It's just that some of it isn't all that relevant to you, because you don't have to worry so much about being a leader. I have, though.

As for why it makes me happy...it's just fun. And it's a little fragment of something shared and personal between people - a shared memory, an injoke, something like that. We've been basically strangers up until now, but now we've got at least one thing that's between us and no one else.

Well, I...may have overthought the creepity-creep song. By a lot! I came up with this big theory about what it meant, but when I asked her about it, it turned out I was totally off...well, anyway, all that depth of meaning I saw in her lyrics made me want to try my hand at it, too.

Hmph. I'll gladly leave the leading to you.

[One thing that's between us and no one else... It shouldn't feel as...personal, almost intimate, as it does. But Felix has noticed this about Claude: somehow, talking to him always feels like you're the only person in the room even if you're not. Or maybe the only person in the world. Felix is used to putting himself firmly in the background and staying there, but Claude has a way of drawing people out that's...strangely not unpleasant.

On the other hand, Sylvain does too, and 99% of the time it's all empty gestures and means absolutely nothing. Claude...seems genuine, but how would Felix ever know for sure?]

Is that... [How does he ask this without sounding pathetic? Why is he even asking in the first place?] You must have a lot of those. With everyone you know.

I'm glad we can finally agree that you overthink everything.
I want to hear the song.
when we get back from shopping, sing it for me.

Nah. Only with the people I really like. [Claude smiles at him.] Granted, with those people I don't usually have to come up with something to share with them, because we already share things. Memories, usually, like my friends back in the Alliance. [He folds his hands together.] But with you, we've gotten friendly really quickly, so we've got nothing to share yet. So I just made something up.

I have to admit, I never thought I'd like spending time with you like this from what little I saw of you back at Garreg Mach. Or, at least, not as much as I have been. I don't know if that's because you've changed since then, or because I never looked deeply enough. I mean, it's not like you seemed to want anyone to bother you back then anyway, so I just didn't. [He rubs the back of his neck.] But even if you're prickly, you're a lot easier to get along with than I ever expected. It would've been nice to get to know you without all the mess, but I'm glad something got us talking.

I said I overthought ONE thing, jeez. Some things I give the exact right amount of thought!

That said, are you sure? I mean, I'm no Annette. It'll be a total disappointment compared to her stuff.

[Felix can't help thinking that they did share one thing before this... He's starting to feel a little tired, but he doesn't particularly want to leave. He sits down on the floor instead, drawing his knees up a bit and resting his arms loosely atop them.]

Is all of that supposed to be a compliment? [He lifts a brow, but there's no venom here.] But I think I know what you mean. I always thought you were irresponsible and never took anything seriously. You're not like that now, though. You're easy to talk to, but not in a fake way. At least, as far as I can tell. And you're good at everything, which is baffling.

[Felix shrugs.] I didn't want anyone to bother me back then. I don't want anyone to bother me now, either. But you don't bother me.

I don't see how you have enough hours in the day to think about everything so much.
do you ever sleep?
of course I'm sure.
I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear it.
I know it'll be far below annette standards.
sing it for me anyway.

[Claude chuckles.] If you want to sit, at least sit on the bed. I won't bite. Or do anything inappropriate. [He winks.] I mean, mind you, with how tonight's gone, I should be the one worrying about you ravishing me without warning...

Probably not enough, although a damn sight more than Dimitri does, I'm sure. I tend to get caught up reading things...

All right, then. You'll be the second person to hear it next to Annette herself. Feel honored!

Unfortunately, I don't think I could replicate the dance she came up with for it. It wouldn't have the same effect without it being her anyway.

Man, I miss her, talking about her now. I didn't even get to see her at Derdriu. Granted, it was all pretty hectic, and I didn't stick around for long, but...it just makes me realize I haven't actually talked to her since back at the academy.

[He blinks up at Claude, cheeks burning.] Shut up.

[But he does get up to sit on the bed, tucking his legs underneath him and facing Claude. ...maybe, he thinks, this was a bad idea. This close, it's easier to see how pretty Claude's eyes are and how his wild curls frame his face. And he still smells good. But Felix stays where he is.]

If you're going to call me by some stupid nickname, then I should call you one, too.

sleeping more than dimitri does is not an accomplishment.
we'll see how honored I am after I hear it.
I miss her too.
I guess we have no idea how long we'll be here.
it might be months or years.
or forever.
you call me sunshine but she's the real sunshine.
wait why didn't you stay long after the battle?
wasn't it a victory?
in your own city?

[Claude won't deny Felix is affecting him in his own way. He's an attractive man, all the more so with his hair down - that's just sinful, really - and with that sleeveless shirt it's easy to see the swells of muscle on those deceptively slim arms. And, of course, Felix's shoving him up against the wall and kissing Claude earlier...well, that kind of scenario has featured in any number of Claude's fantasies, albeit with different people doing the kissing. It's hard to forget how good it was, at least in the moments before Sylvain's hurt and Claude's own realization of what was going on soured it.

The recollection of that helps Claude settle himself. Thinking about being so casually used without a first thought, much less a second, is a good way to keep any libido in check.

Besides, Felix wants Sylvain, and Sylvain wants Felix, and Claude can't really afford anything with anyone. No matter how attractive or unexpectedly pleasant company they might be.]

I mean, I've got no objections. [He smiles.] And, conveniently, I think your own self-consciousness as saying anything too silly will limit you from giving me any kind of nickname that's intentionally ridiculous...

I suppose, if we spent the rest of our lives here...then after we died here, we'd wake up back in our own time. We do still have our lives to live there, sooner or later, so I don't think we'll never go back. And even if thousands of years passed here, after we died we'd stop noticing any passage of time, so it'd be right after our deaths from our perspective.

You know...in a way, I think our being from different points in time guarantees we're all going to eventually return. After all, you have to have returned to our world at some point, so you could move on with your life and become the Felix I meet at Dimitri's side in Derdriu. Right? So in a way, that's this world's promise to us we'll return - the fact that we know your lives all continue back home from after when you came here.

You act like only one person on earth can brighten people's day.

Also, I had other matters to attend to.

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